Most Nauseating Christmas Advert?

#1
Having been at home this week with a horrendous (ly exaggerated) case of flu, I've had more than my usual level of television exposure.

The Coca-cola adverts are predictably sickly sweet but apparently an intrinsic part of the festive season. And as for the little boy counting down the minutes til Christmas so he can present his frankly horribly wrapped present to Mummy - well, I hope he gets a dead hamster's head in his Christmas stocking.

But what has me reaching for the mute button on the remote most often has to be the big-beaked horse-toothed dullard in the Iceland adverts. Leaving aside that the sickening nose-rub is probably the most contact she has had with her what I assume is her son in months, if I need tips on providing a pleasant Christmas dinner for my nearest and dearest I'm hardly likely to go to a woman who is a) Jewish (I have nothing against Red-Sea pedestrians, but I don't believe they celebrate Christmas), b) thicker than a whale omelette and c) unlikely to have had anything more calorific than gentleman-juice in her mouth since the turn of the century .

Is anything television related getting on your wick this Christmas?
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#2
I agree about the Iceland ads being shit, but recently I've been finding Stacey quite attractive. If she never spoke, I'd be happy having a go on her.
 
#3
I agree about the Iceland ads being shit, but recently I've been finding Stacey quite attractive. If she never spoke, I'd be happy having a go on her.
Me too, in fact how about we spit roast her, if her mouths full there will be no talking...........
 
#5
Anything that prates on about the 'traditional Christmas' while trying to punt you cheap crap from mid-October onward.
 
#6
The Brighthouse one.

"Oooh, I wish we could do this every week".

You fucking could if you didn't spent your money on extortionate interest rates and buy BFO tellies and crap couches.

Oh, and cut back on the chocolates, you fat northern bitches.
 
#8
Every single last one of them. Christmas is over rated hype which starts in the middle of September. As for house facia decorations, the pikier the family (a la council houses) the earlier the lights go up. I wish the cunts would shoot themselves in the face. Thank fuck I'm in Afghan for Christmas at least I don't have to put up with that shite. Bah fuckin Humbug!
 
#9
The Boots adverts where they are planning Xmas like Hitler was planning a long weekend in Poland, though funny when the guy with the dog walks past them and says "evening", but still leaves me reaching for the waste paper bin to hurl in to?
 
#10
Oh, I fucking hate the M+S advert with the shit factor bastards in it, cunts.
Agreed.

As for Stacey, I think she's hilarious and she's actually a lot smarter than she lets on. I'd rather see her on the Iceland ads than Kerry Katona.
 
#12
Every single last one of them. Christmas is over rated hype which starts in the middle of September. As for house facia decorations, the pikier the family (a la council houses) the earlier the lights go up. I wish the cunts would shoot themselves in the face. Thank fuck I'm in Afghan for Christmas at least I don't have to put up with that shite. Bah fuckin Humbug!
Best ever Christmas I had was out in Iraq in '07, brilliant it was, no stupid adverts, no crowds and no tv. Mega.
 

CplFoodspoiler

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#14
Not an advert, but this years BBC ident, with assorted fuckwits singing "Consider Yourself at Home", does nothing to ease my sociapathic tendencies.
And I bet they all did it for free. I'd love to consider myself an overpaid, luvvy, self satisfied, twat.

Well 1 from 4 aint bad. Just thought I'd put that in before any of my esteemed arrsers did it for me.
 
#16
The John Lewis one with the warbly bird covering Please, Please, Please annoys me a tad, but it's one of a current rake of ads which feature breathy, nasal tarts covering songs that don't suit the style. Not all of them Christmas-y. Every one shite.

Nothing ad wise has ever annoyed me as much as last year's Iceland Can-Can/20th Century Boy one, not so much the fact that it was crap, but the fact that it was on every break and sometimes twice in a break.
 
#17
Agreed.

Although to be honest I'd also rather see Anne Widdecome stark naked, the return of polio and a 200 percent rise in my income tax than Kerry Katona.
Would one be correct in thinking that you have little time for Ms Katona?

Back on thread though, to all of the endlessly repetetive vomit inducing, temper fraying Xmas related shite on the TV, please add all of the endlessly repetetive vomit inducing, temper fraying Xmas related shite on the bloody radio.

Fucking tiresome syrupy eons old fucking singles played all day fucking long at work makes my piss fizz. I actually look forward to the sanctuary of my car/radio 4 for the long drive home each day from mid October onwards.
 
#18
Sick and tired of the whole lot of 'em. Especially the John Lewis one with the brat walking into the parents bedroom with some box of tat at stoopid o'clock in the morning.

Everyone looking all homely and having fun. Bollocks.

A real Christmas is wrought with the pain in the arse relatives a vying for attention, grubbing kids demanding overpriced gifts (thanks to TV adverts) and general mental hysteria to buy the entire contents of Asda/Morrisons/Waitrose/M&S/Lidle/Aldi on the 24th December at 16:00. Because the shops will be closed for 1 freaking day.

Glad I'm working.
 
#19
anything with a "celebrity" in it grips my shit

Like Freddy Flintoff and that senile oxygen thieving cunt Bruce Forsyth really shop at Morrisons..........bollocks

And I'd like the add my vote for the BBC advert. Bunch of self satisfied cunts. Fucking hate Only Fools and Horses. It was shit 30 years ago
 
#20
I have exactly enough time for Kerry Katona as it would take me to perform the Death of a Thousand cuts on her chip-chewing, syphilis ridden, stretch-mark coated carcass.

LB
 

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