Most irritating staff officer buzz phrases

#1
I've been on a lot of exercises during my time in the Corps and have had lots of chances to experience Staff Officers in their natural environment; that is ruthlessly stabbing each other in the back in order to impress the GOC/Brig and COS whenever they come into view. I've also overheard some of the most outrageous career laughs too. One of the things that annoys me most are the fashions in staff officer buzz phrases that they seem to take great pleasure in incorporating into briefings and presentations. Here are some of the worst offenders at the moment, in my opinion:

1. 'Granularity'.
2. 'Drill-down'.
3. 're-set and re-cock' (snigger)

Can anyone top these? I'm pretty sure that some of the older and bolder ARRSErs have heard some truly outrageous examples in their time.
 
#2
Best on I heard from an American was " Let's get this situation unfucked" to be fair to him it was pretty fucked to start with.
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
#5
'We are where we are' Grips my ******* shit!
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
@ Seadog. It would appear that some people just don't get irony.
 
#10
But if we weren’t there, where would we be…………………..
 
#11
Best on I heard from an American was " Let's get this situation unfucked" to be fair to him it was pretty fucked to start with.
The Canadian version: "Cpl, this whole thing is a Dogfuck. We need to unfuck the Dogfuck." Brilliant.

In terms irritating buzzwords, there was a period when anything that had come to the attention of a certain HQ was said to be "under the lazer". I hope it didn't catch on.
 
#13
During meetings "let's talk about it offline". Like I want to be networked to you, you ****!
 
#15
"Sgt I know perfectly well what I'm doing"
That sounds as if it was often closely followed by the sound of approaching emergency service sirens.... ;)

I'll see that and raise you a "that's on my radar screen staff..."
 
#17
The Canadian version: "Cpl, this whole thing is a Dogfuck. We need to unfuck the Dogfuck." Brilliant.
Forgive me, but I shall use that. I have a VP who reads fashionable 'management' books in the belief that their advice is worth more than a piss in the westerly wind. I tried out 'granularity' on him earlier this week and he thought I was a genius. I'm going places, boys.
 
#18
Forgive me, but I shall use that. I have a VP who reads fashionable 'management' books in the belief that their advice is worth more than a piss in the westerly wind. I tried out 'granularity' on him earlier this week and he thought I was a genius. I'm going places, boys.
Let us know which places so we can avoid guilt by association.
 
G

GLESGA-NED

Guest
#20
"Lets take a big hand small map approach".

******* knob heads wouldn't know a map if it hit them attached to a big hand!
 

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