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Most Embarrassing Thing Youve Been Caught Doing Alone

#1
Mine would have to be part-imitating the leotard clad eighties tarts from the video of Call On Me by Eric Prydz on my living room floor by my flatmate who, in fairness, waited a full 10 seconds before collapsing in horror/shock/disbelief/fart-inducing laughter.

Those of you that know me can let that image linger for a little longer.

In my defence, I was just trying to see if I could bend that way...

So, wanking aside, any more?
 
#2
What about coming in off the piss, leathered, porn video playing on the telly, and a couple of your roommates walk in and find you asleep with your flaccid c*ck in your hand? Happened to a mate of mine once, ahem.....
 
#3
On a satellite TV installation last year, I took a giant shit in a customer's bathroom that refused to flush.

Her thirteen year old daughter walked into the bathroom to find me wrapping 'most' of the offending turd into a towel that I was about to steal.

She trumpeted like a rogue elephant and I quickly made my excuses and left.

I waited and waited to be reported, but nothing ever came of it.

I dumped the brown shark and towel in Nunhead, where it has since become a respectable member of the local community.
 
#5
I always find myself singing anddancing to really camp, cheesy music (for example Scissor Sisters).

I can't help it, I just have these urges. I'm not gay (honest guvn'r).

What compounds this is my ability to sing/dance like an epileptic elephant.
 
#10
PotYos said:
I always find myself singing anddancing to really camp, cheesy music (for example Scissor Sisters).

I can't help it, I just have these urges. I'm not gay (honest guvn'r).

What compounds this is my ability to sing/dance like an epileptic elephant.
that sounds serious, get ur ass down to the sick bay, and get some help, [ scissor sisters] give me strength, should ave been arrested for f-cking up "comfortably numb". get some "zep,sabbath,purple" that ll sort you out.
 

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#11
Ahh my taste in music is eclectic - I got myself to Download festival for some *real* music as well. Just because I can't dance doesnt mean I can't mosh!! :headbang:
 
#13
I know you said w**k*ng aside so I don't know if this counts but a friend of mine and I do mean a friend, there's no way your pinning this on me got caught mid deed with a finger up his arse.
 
#14
Once walked in on a ' dinking buddy', who was going to help me work on my car, while he was ..um ..' folding some laundry ' while wearing his wife's ' foundation garments '...

does that count?
 
#15
I got caught by Mrs Big Dick in the garden with a marrow, still in its grow bag, shoved up my arrse whilst performing cunnilingus on her sister, with her mother sucking hard on my swollen d*ck.

....or was it a dream ? Bed was wet afterwards anyway....
 
#16
I was caught by a couple of detectives whilst trying to dispose of my grandmothers rotting corpse.

How we laughed after the initial embarrassment wore off.
 
#17
Fellating a dwarf.

Ok it was two Dwarves...

Alright I admit it the vicar caught me holding a bukkake party for 'little people' in the local church, several (50 or so) dwarves turned up, they overpowered me and threw me in the font. I don't think the video has made it onto youtube yet.

On my own it was probably carving my name into a goat in Barbados. The owner went mental. I tried to claim it was my goat because it had my name etched into it, but he wasn't having any of it.
 
#20
My cat got frothy mouthed in Germany in 99 and i presumed it had rabies, the wife caught me with my foot on its body about to take its head off with a spade, I missed and took its scalp off it went fecking nuts i had to smash its head in. It took me ages to explain that i was trying to be "Humane" and give it a quick death. :oops:
 

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