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Most embarrassing Fart - Fart stories here please

#4
My wife wouldn't fart in front of me for ages after we got married.

Then, after a turbulent night in the underpant area, she let it be known to the World that men didn't hold a monopoly in the noxious smells department.

I must say I was quite impressed.
Almost as good as my Theakstones Old Peculiar-Curry Combo!
 
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Guest
#5
My (female) dog has just farted: does that count? Not really embarassing but it smells fecking horrible.
 
#6
This is a ficticious lie that women do not fart...my secretary that is sitting about 4 foot infront of me clearly has WMD in her drawers bloody awful and she is a Ginger....yuck :x
 
#7
I posted this a while back in another thread... just reread it and im sat here grining like a mong...... so proud :lol:


As im feeling generous and to prevent the bordom setting in, i'll give you this one for free......

Had been out on the tiles with the better half, get home and feeling a bit fruity we decided to go for it on the living room floor, during a period of mutual pleasing we got ourselves into a 69er.
Anyway we were getting into it when I got the sudden urge to fart, being a little worse for wear and considering he had his face well buried I thought he wouldn’t notice!
Wrong….he jumped up and stood motionless, stunned like a bunny caught in the headlights!
Me…I was curled up on the floor in hysterics…..I think that was fair payback for the numerous times he’s shoved my head under the duvet to get the full appreciation of his trump!
 
#8
Oh yes they do :twisted:

Their favourite trick is to nonchalantly drop their guts at crowded parties/nightclubs and just as the vapour has risen up enough to start dissolving nasal hair everyone looks at you as if you have just opened a 10 year old tin of kit e kat
:oops: 8O
 
#10
total rubbish , i've been out with birds whose farts smelt like neat sh*t.

they just dont seem to take the same self satisfied "i did that" pride that blokes do...... not in public anyway.
 
#11
It's good that this thread is restricted to the girls! I (and probably all of the other guys in here) can't remember ever being embarrased by a fart!! :lol:
 
#13
As I switched the alarm clock off this morning, I rolled over to Mrs Skjold And asked"How do you feel this morning" to which she replied "Thrrrpppp, better now thank you"
 
#14
SKJOLD said:
As I switched the alarm clock off this morning, I rolled over to Mrs Skjold And asked"How do you feel this morning" to which she replied "Thrrrpppp, better now thank you"
bloody hell that sounds like mine!!!!
are you sure you're not me?
i don't think im you?
feck, im confused now...time for beer to pondor this :p
 
#15
mucus said:
SKJOLD said:
As I switched the alarm clock off this morning, I rolled over to Mrs Skjold And asked"How do you feel this morning" to which she replied "Thrrrpppp, better now thank you"
bloody hell that sounds like mine!!!!
are you sure you're not me?
i don't think im you?
feck, im confused now...time for beer to pondor this :p
If your beer costs £6 a pint then, your me.
If your car had frost on it this morning, your me.
If your Mrs Skjold has just scared the dog with another "thrrrrpppp" then, im off. :D
 
#16
My wife has a great habit of letting one go in bed and the smell is so bad that it will actually wake me up from a deep sleep.
This is even more impressive concidering I have been known to sleep through firefights. :D
 
#17
Flying Felix said:
My wife has a great habit of letting one go in bed and the smell is so bad that it will actually wake me up from a deep sleep.
This is even more impressive concidering I have been known to sleep through firefights. :D
She sounds like a right little princess. Is she in the mob?
 
#18
SKJOLD said:
mucus said:
SKJOLD said:
As I switched the alarm clock off this morning, I rolled over to Mrs Skjold And asked"How do you feel this morning" to which she replied "Thrrrpppp, better now thank you"
bloody hell that sounds like mine!!!!
are you sure you're not me?
i don't think im you?
feck, im confused now...time for beer to pondor this :p
If your beer costs £6 a pint then, your me.
If your car had frost on it this morning, your me.
If your Mrs Skjold has just scared the dog with another "thrrrrpppp" then, im off. :D
think we aren't the same, but reckon we've married twins :D :D
 
#19
:lol: This thread reminds me of when, years ago, just out of the mob and working as a bus conductor, a drop dead gorgeous young woman boarded my bus and proceeded up the stairs. As I went up the stairs to collect her fare I noticed that she was the only passenger up there and she had sat near the front. Just as I approached her, she lifted one cheek of her delightful bum cheeks and let rip with the most god awful, 7 on the Richter scale. The noxious cloud chased me back down the stairs and only by sticking my head out into the slipstream did I escape certain death by asphyxiation. I never did collect her fare so may be it was her 'free travel pass'? :twisted:
 

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