Most disgusting bar you have ever been too ?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dunstaggin, Oct 13, 2007.

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  1. I have been to many a dive bar. But my award has to go to the Teufel bar in Celle.

    Most bars in Celle at that time were barred to British squaddies (1970's), so we usually took a 'cloggie' along to get us in.

    The bar in question, the Teufel bar, used to have live sex acts.

    Yep, good oh , or so we thought.

    We had been there many times.

    One night they started doing the shitting on each other bit !

    I reckon there was about 50 of us from Hohne in there.

    The odd catcall.........then a thrown beercloth or fag packet.

    The crescendo of abuse seemingly did nothing for their ardour, the dirty barstewards.

    From nowhere chairs and stools were flung through the air.

    I can't remember anything after that.

    Suffice to say we never went there again.
  2. That's Germans for you.

    Worst bar I ever dropped into was in Newcastle, when waiting for a train. Once I had my beer and sat down.....eyes adjusted to the dim lighting...I realised, was full of guys....all giving me the eye. (I was a handsome bastaard in those days), I left my beer and did a runner.

    Caught the train with hours to spare.
  3. Some bar in Naha, Okinawa Japan that offers the world famous 'Banana show.'

    In a nutshell some wizened hag- naked on stage- would stick a banana up her urine dispenser and chop it up piece by piece as the crowd screamed in disgusted yet amazed arousement.

    One day a drunk pal of mine (on a dare and the promise of a beer) went up on stage and licked the remnants of the banana from the hairy launchpad. The next few hours saw us give him a hell of a time as we chided him for being a pervert as we tried to make him cry. And he did.

    Did I mention said performer was to my estimation at least eighty-years- old?

    The events of the next day were nightmarish. The stuff of horror movies.

    Scene: Whisper Alley on Gate 2 at Kadena Airforce Base on the same island.

    Me and an adventerous group of devil-may-care mates stepped into some darkened doorway in said alley and were immediately accosted by a bevy of sweet-tounged women looking for a good time. Y'know, the usual promise of "me suck your dick long time." After the customary exchange of legal currency, we soon found ourselves in a cave-like abode that smelt like frying onions.

    All the action was happening in the one room which was darkened with a very dim red light placed at the furthest end of the cube. I was in the throes of an orgasmic seizure when the overhead lights came on.

    It so happens that a killjoy pal of ours, who we had successfully evaded and eluded for most the night, had tracked us down and, concerned with our safety, decided to 'rescue' us by making a frontal assault on the room.

    When that light came on and I looked around, I was confronted by a sight that is forever seared into my darkest, deepest memories which I had to dredge up after seeing this thread.

    Six men. In a room. Naked. In various stages of coitus. All with gray-haired wrinkled women aged anywhere between sixty and eighty.

    As luck always seems to have it, of all the women in the world. Of all the skunkiest, kinkiest, oldest, least sexually attractive women in the world. Of all the wrinkliest, most scariest looking women in man's known world, I had to be the one to jump into bed with her.

    After the initial surprise of seeing us in the process of making love to the mummified women, our pal surveyed the room with a look of unconcealed horror.

    He then looked at me, pointed a shaking finger and screamed for the whole world to hear, "that is the woman from the banana show!"

    I looked down and let out a gasp.

    Indeed it was.
  4. There used to be a bar in Blyth called Jumpin Jax that I used to drink in way back in 1994 when I was 17, it was a big place but the bar was a plank of wood across two barrells and a fridge full of Red Stripe lager.

    The floor was uneven and warped and the decorating consisted of a camnet on the ceiling.

    There was no tables or chairs, no pictures, no windows, just benches around the walls.

    I once got punched off a smackhead in there as well for no reason, he just walked up and punched me in the eye. Cnut.
  5. Blyth as in "smackhead capital" of the north east? Fuck me what a shitehole.
  6. Thats the one. I used to drink there when I was underage because it is the only place that never asked for ID.
  7. Monshereefs (not correct spelling) in Berlin.
    It was clean in some respects because of the bath in there but the water wasnt that clean :wink:

    I was there in 1989 when the strippers were playing with a large dildo, because we ignored the act one walked up to our table and stirred one of the lads beer with it. Dirty cow. Another lad got a kicking off of couple of the tarts for trying to slip one of them a lenght whilst in the bath.
  8. Sin Bin ..................somewhere near Batus !!!!!!!
  9. Jesus mate! Why not get yourself to Bedlington or Morpeth? At least the birds there haven't got track marks up their arms!
  10. That gets my vote. :D
  11. traz.
  12. Used to drink in Bedlington once I had valid ID as most of my mates are from there. Also drank in Ashington a lot as thats where I'm from but thats almost as bad as Blyth apart from Buzz 'N' Slap Harrys.

    I don't like Morpeth because its expensive and full of Cnuts.
  13. Cow

    Cow LE

    'Bar Me' in Portsmouth, we renamed it 'Scum Bar' as it was a hole and more.

    Awesome time down there thought. Stayed in HMS Nelson, they use to hate us Army blokes!
  14. Alice's bar Lagos Nigeria.
  15. Most disgusting bar was probably the one in Leconsfield camp. Lovely bar but full of gopping loggies.