Most Bone thing you have had to do in the Army!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BernardMcCabe, Jun 5, 2007.

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  1. Today I had to wirite a report on a civil servant including whether or not he should be recommended for his enhanced bonus. So what you ask, well other than the fact he has been dead for the last 6 months or so. WTF despite me pointing out that he was indifferent to what I wrote about him, the morons insisted that he had been employed over 3 months in the reporting period, although the poor sod was to ill to work. I swear I am losing the will to live with bone things like this becoming the norm as opposed to a rare occurance. So come on my fellow arssers, what have you been made to do that is a complete and utter waste of time.
  2. Got tasked to do the physically impossible......Op Order required 12 physical entities to be in 12 separate places at the same point in Space / Time, i.e. 1 x plug per hole.......guess what, yip, I only had 10.....not a case of 12 tasks that you could do with more manpower for but have to make do with what you've got but literally 12 different physical locations to be filled with 10 bodies.

    So when I pointed out this minor irregularity that required nothing short of physical dissection, in true fashion I was instructed to "just fcuking get on with it!". So I did and just left 2 x spots empty and hoped nothing went pear shaped - luckily for me it didn't.

    I understand this is the norm these days.
  3. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Having to travel down from Scotland on rate one's to RAF Stafford to pick up 4 X L98 Cadet GP rifles & return them to RAF Kinloss after them being repaired only to find out back at Kinloss that they were still broken!!Took a week due to drivers hours,two nights in Carlisle & a day at Stafford!
    (They failed safety test's when we unpacked them)

  4. Nights in hotels, unacceptable!
  5. After coming off a two hour stag on the gate, they used to make me go on a two hour prowl around the camp.

    Utterly pointless. I just used to go to my room and drink brews.

    How I laughed all the way to MCTC Colchester after I was warned for office, charged, then found guilty.... :D

    I still think the most pointless thing I ever was scrub rust off the springs of a Series III Land Rover, two hours before it was due out on exercise.

    And can someone tell me why 'Missing a Dental Appointment' was deemed to be a more heinous crime than accidentally shooting a mucker?
  6. Stagging on at Buller Bks when itr was depot RCT 2 on 2 off for the 24hr duty but being as the place was your "2hours off" didn't mean that. Oh no escorting SuS as the weeded between the flags with a butter knife and other shite. and you weren't allowed to have the beds down before 18.00 meaning sitting on the placcy chairs if you got time as well. Your stag would always be woken and ready to relive the other one 5mins before they were due to come off but the other lot were always late. Really felt for the lads who done this for day on/off for a month as there was no other duties for them :eek:
  7. Right hand marker outside the tech workshops - there were only 8 of us, what a throbber the foreman was - probably a captain now!!
  8. When serving with 1 Staffords in Fally in the mid 80s ,
    A battalion muster for the largest out cake produced in the Midlands it was there next to the CO :roll: .
    FFS , that was the time to get your cash in.
    Soon after the lads helped form the line on Gulf war one...gutted
  9. You seem to be a bloody dangerous person to be around Bom...
  10. Herford, Hammersmith Bks early 90's. Forced to wear full IPE for hours on end whilst cleaning 40 years worth of pidgeon shit from the Attic of RHQ. Oh how we laughed !
  11. When I walked in the ACIO and they said 'sign here'.
  12. Or having to scrape red lead off the back of the signal wing LR's at Leccy with a knife or whatever else they could find on the day starting for easter leave
  13. Being told to rub diesel all over a Bedford. When eventually convinced this was not a wind-up for the new guy, I did.

    How the hell was I supposed to know that they didn't mean the windows as well?
  14. op 'tidy wyvern': area sweep parts of spta.

    or the 'ultimate' wtf is going on? repaint the rocks around forkhill helipad prior to the defence secretary visiting (in a fetching shade of white) gimme a clue :lol:
  15. Bikini alert red in Catterick during the late 80's. Brief was that the provies were actively carrying out recce of local camps with a view to staging an attack. So what did they have us do? Carry out prowler patrol (un)armed with a single unloaded SLR. Not so much as a single round, nor even a magazine between three of us. The other two had pickhelves. WTF