Most Bizarre Song Lyrics?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bushmills, Jan 13, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Which song do you reckon has the most bizarre lyrics? I'll start with this one


    Meet me down by the jetty landing
    Where the the pontoons bump and sway
    I see the others reading, standing
    As the Manly Ferry cuts its way to Circular Quay
    Hear the Captain blow his whistle
    So long she's been away
    I miss our early morning wrestle
    Not a very Happy way to start the day
    She don't like That kind of behaviour
    She don't like That kind of behaviour

    So, throw down your guns
    Don't be so reckless
    Throw down your guns
    Don't be so

    Feel like Scott of the Antarctic
    Base camp too far away
    A Russian sun beneath the Arctic
    Burke and Wills and camels
    Initials in the tree
    She don't like That kind of behaviour
    She don't like That kind of behaviour

    So, throw down your guns
    Don't be so reckless
    Throw down your guns
    Don't be so

    Great tune but WTF are they on about?
     
  2. Have you never listened to Frank Zappa?
    From Thing Fish (from memory):

    That shit'll make you ugly
    And if yous already ugly it'll make you mean and ugly
    And if yous already mean and ugly itll turn you into
    A Mammy Nun
    ..........
    ..........
    Head like a potatoe
    Lips like a duck
    Big old hands
    Pumping up
    ...............
    ...............
    His clothes are quite stupid
    and also his shoes
    Hes got a big old duck mouth
    God knows how he chews


    And thats one that makes sense!
     
  3. The Walrus?

    Mind you if you will write songs while off your tits on any number of strange chemicals and bits of vegetation then I suppose the result will always be something like that.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. "Beelzebub has the Devil for a sideboard..."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. This is quite weird :wink:

    I've got your picture of me and you
    You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
    I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
    Oh it's in color
    Your hair is brown
    Your eyes are hazel
    And soft as clouds
    I often kiss you when there's no one else around

    I've got your picture, I've got your picture
    I'd like a million of you all 'round myself
    I want a doctor to take your picture
    So I can look at you from inside as well
    You've got me turning up and turning down
    I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so

    I've got your picture, I've got your picture
    I'd like a million of them all 'round myself
    I want a doctor to take your picture
    So I can look at you from inside as well
    You've got me turning up I'm turning down
    I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so

    No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
    No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
    Everyone around me is a total stranger
    Everyone avoids me like a cyclone Ranger
    Everyone...

    That's why I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so

    [guitar]

    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
    Turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so, think so, think so
    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so
     
  6. It has got to be "Suppers Ready" by Genesis, all 23+ glorious minutes of it. A sample below:

    Willow Farm

    If you go down to Willow Farm,
    to look for butterflies, flutterbyes, gutterflies
    Open your eyes, it's full of surprise, everyone lies,
    like the fox on the rocks,
    and the musical box.
    Yes, there's Mum & Dad, and good and bad,
    and everyone's happy to be here.

    There's Winston Churchill dressed in drag,
    he used to be a British flag, plastic bag, what a drag.
    The frog was a prince, the prince was a brick, the brick was an egg,
    the egg was a bird.
    (Fly away you sweet little thing, they're hard on your tail)
    Hadn't you heard?
    (They're going to change you into a human being!)
    Yahoo, we're happy as fish and gorgeous as geese,
    and wonderfully clean in the morning.

    We've got everything, we're growing everything,
    We've got some in
    We've got some out
    We've got some wild things floating about
    Everyone, we're changing everyone,
    you name them all,
    We've had them here,
    And the real stars are still to appear.

    ALL CHANGE!

    Feel your body melt;
    Mum to mud to mad to dad
    Dad diddley office, Dad diddley office,
    You're all full of ball.

    Dad to dam to dum to mum
    Mum diddley washing, Mum diddley washing,
    You're all full of ball.

    Let me hear you lies, we're living this up to the eyes.
    Ooee-ooee-ooee-oowaa
    Momma I want you now.

    And as you listen to my voice
    To look for hidden doors, tidy floors, more applause.
    You've been here all the time,
    Like it or not, like what you got,
    You're under the soil (the soil, the soil),
    Yes, deep in the soil (the soil, the soil, the soil, the soil!).
    So we'll end with a whistle and end with a bang
    and all of us fit in our places.


    Apocalypse In 9/8 (Co-Starring the delicious talents of Gabble Ratchet)

    With the guards of Magog, swarming around,
    The Pied Piper takes his children underground.
    Dragons coming out of the sea,
    Shimmering silver head of wisdom looking at me.
    He brings down the fire from the skies,
    You can tell he's doing well by the look in human eyes.
    Better not compromise.
    It won't be easy.

    666 is no longer alone,
    He's getting out the marrow in your back bone,
    And the seven trumpets blowing sweet rock and roll,
    Gonna blow right down inside your soul.
    Pythagoras with the looking glass reflects the full moon,
    In blood, he's writing the lyrics of a HIP brand new tune.
     
  7. Ah, The Vapors and their touching song about having a thrap, you've got to love it.

    Not exactly surprising but Frank Zappa and The Mothers 'Montana' is another conkers one.
     
  8. And they say kids today are fucked up?
     
  9. Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi has got to be a contender

    Wham! Bam! my cat Splash
    lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
    by drinking all my whisky.
    As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
    I had to sleep in the gutter
    where I had a flash
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    in four colours

    Allez-oop! One morning
    a darling came to my home,
    a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair,
    a plaster, a hangover,
    drank my beer in a large rubber glass
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    like an Indian in his igloo

    This works for me, this works for me
    This works for me me me me me
    This work for me
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    This works for me

    Allez-oop! The chick***, what a gas!
    what a vibration!
    to be sent on the door mat
    filed, ruined, drained, filled
    You are the King of the divan!
    she says to me in passing
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    I am the King of the divan

    This works for me, this works for me
    This works for me me me me me
    This workss for me
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    This works for me

    Allez-oop! Don't mind, don't worry
    Don't affect me
    It’s not today
    that the sky will fall on my head
    and I'll be without glue
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    This life’s for me

    Allez-oop! my chick has gone away,
    flew away, finally had enough, to break
    the sink, the bar, leaving me alone
    like a complete jerk
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    I've put my foot in it

    This works for me, this works for me
    This works for me me me me me
    This workss for me
    Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
    This works for me
    This workss for me, this works for me
    This works for me me me me me
     
  10. And here is another

    I don't like you, i don't like your town
    I don't wanna like you, i'll shop around
    I don't want you, i won't want your town
    I don't wanna want you, i'll shop around, i'll shop around
    I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers

    No take-away, i want my own game
    I'm sick of things sized to be working down these lonely streets
    No bacon steak, no strawberry milkshake, i wanna keep it

    Wild, go wild, go wild in the country
    Chorus:
    Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free
    Wild, go wild, go wild in the country
    Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free
    I don't know you, i won't know your town

    I don't wanna know you, i'll shop around, i'll shop around
    No take-away, i want my own game

    I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers
    No bacon steak, no strawberry milkshake
    I do better, well, i do better

    Sweet from the trees, nakes in the breeze
    But i got no boiled chicken, i wanna go hunting and fishing

    Chorus

    I can get a plane, i don't need no suitcases, 'cos truth loves to go naked
    Chorus

    Got no boiled chicken, i wanna go hunting and fishing

    I wanna picnic, 'cos i get sick
    Go - chorus


    I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers

    No take-away, i want my own game
     
  11. Mongo

    Mongo LE Reviewer

    "We're just two lost souls,
    swimming in a fish bowl,
    year after year"

    Wish you were here by Pink Floyd!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  12. [h=1]Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants[/h]I'm your only friend
    I'm not your only friend
    But I'm a little glowing friend
    But really I'm not actually your friend
    But I am

    Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
    Who watches over you
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul
    Not to put too fine a point on it
    Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul

    I have a secret to tell
    From my electrical well
    It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
    So the room must listen to me
    Filibuster vigilantly
    My name is blue canary one note* spelled l-i-t-e
    My story's infinite
    Like the Longines Symphonette it doesn't rest

    Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
    Who watches over you
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul
    Not to put too fine a point on it
    Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul

    I'm your only friend
    I'm not your only friend
    But I'm a little glowing friend
    But really I'm not actually your friend
    But I am

    There's a picture opposite me
    Of my primitive ancestry
    Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free
    Though I respect that a lot
    I'd be fired if that were my job
    After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts
    Bluebird of friendliness
    Like guardian angels its always near

    Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
    Who watches over you
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul
    Not to put too fine a point on it
    Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul

    (and while you're at it
    Keep the nightlight on inside the
    Birdhouse in your soul)

    Not to put too fine a point on it
    Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul

    Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
    Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

    Not to put too fine a point on it
    Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul

    Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
    Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

    Not to put too fine a point on it
    Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
    Make a little birdhouse in your soul
     
  13. Bow Wow Wow - Go Wild In The Country - YouTube
     
  14. You really think so? I think it is about masturbation.

    And damn, beaten to it with 'Supper's Ready' by a pre-Collins Genesis.
     
  15. Your flash to bang time is not the best to be honest.