Most Bizarre Song Lyrics?

#1
Which song do you reckon has the most bizarre lyrics? I'll start with this one

[video=youtube;JIrUqsB-0vw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIrUqsB-0vw[/video]

Meet me down by the jetty landing
Where the the pontoons bump and sway
I see the others reading, standing
As the Manly Ferry cuts its way to Circular Quay
Hear the Captain blow his whistle
So long she's been away
I miss our early morning wrestle
Not a very Happy way to start the day
She don't like That kind of behaviour
She don't like That kind of behaviour

So, throw down your guns
Don't be so reckless
Throw down your guns
Don't be so

Feel like Scott of the Antarctic
Base camp too far away
A Russian sun beneath the Arctic
Burke and Wills and camels
Initials in the tree
She don't like That kind of behaviour
She don't like That kind of behaviour

So, throw down your guns
Don't be so reckless
Throw down your guns
Don't be so

Great tune but WTF are they on about?
 
#2
Have you never listened to Frank Zappa?
From Thing Fish (from memory):

That shit'll make you ugly
And if yous already ugly it'll make you mean and ugly
And if yous already mean and ugly itll turn you into
A Mammy Nun
..........
..........
Head like a potatoe
Lips like a duck
Big old hands
Pumping up
...............
...............
His clothes are quite stupid
and also his shoes
Hes got a big old duck mouth
God knows how he chews


And thats one that makes sense!
 
#3
The Walrus?

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus,
Coo coo, kachoo.

Mister City P'liceman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying.
I'm cry, I'm crying, I'm cry, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl and you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman (woo), they are the eggmen (woo), I am the walrus,
Coo coo, kachoo.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan from
Standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
Coo coo kachoo ka coo coo kachoo.

Expert texpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (ho ho ho, he he he, ha ha ha)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide.
I'm crying.

Semolina Pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
Coo coo kachoo ka coo coo kachoo
Juba juba juba, juba, juba, juba, juba, juba, juba juba. Juba juba
Mind you if you will write songs while off your tits on any number of strange chemicals and bits of vegetation then I suppose the result will always be something like that.
 
#4
"Beelzebub has the Devil for a sideboard..."
 
#5
This is quite weird :wink:

I've got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I often kiss you when there's no one else around

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all 'round myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of them all 'round myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up I'm turning down
I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone Ranger
Everyone...

That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

[guitar]

Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so, think so, think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
 
#6
It has got to be "Suppers Ready" by Genesis, all 23+ glorious minutes of it. A sample below:

Willow Farm

If you go down to Willow Farm,
to look for butterflies, flutterbyes, gutterflies
Open your eyes, it's full of surprise, everyone lies,
like the fox on the rocks,
and the musical box.
Yes, there's Mum & Dad, and good and bad,
and everyone's happy to be here.

There's Winston Churchill dressed in drag,
he used to be a British flag, plastic bag, what a drag.
The frog was a prince, the prince was a brick, the brick was an egg,
the egg was a bird.
(Fly away you sweet little thing, they're hard on your tail)
Hadn't you heard?
(They're going to change you into a human being!)
Yahoo, we're happy as fish and gorgeous as geese,
and wonderfully clean in the morning.

We've got everything, we're growing everything,
We've got some in
We've got some out
We've got some wild things floating about
Everyone, we're changing everyone,
you name them all,
We've had them here,
And the real stars are still to appear.

ALL CHANGE!

Feel your body melt;
Mum to mud to mad to dad
Dad diddley office, Dad diddley office,
You're all full of ball.

Dad to dam to dum to mum
Mum diddley washing, Mum diddley washing,
You're all full of ball.

Let me hear you lies, we're living this up to the eyes.
Ooee-ooee-ooee-oowaa
Momma I want you now.

And as you listen to my voice
To look for hidden doors, tidy floors, more applause.
You've been here all the time,
Like it or not, like what you got,
You're under the soil (the soil, the soil),
Yes, deep in the soil (the soil, the soil, the soil, the soil!).
So we'll end with a whistle and end with a bang
and all of us fit in our places.


Apocalypse In 9/8 (Co-Starring the delicious talents of Gabble Ratchet)

With the guards of Magog, swarming around,
The Pied Piper takes his children underground.
Dragons coming out of the sea,
Shimmering silver head of wisdom looking at me.
He brings down the fire from the skies,
You can tell he's doing well by the look in human eyes.
Better not compromise.
It won't be easy.

666 is no longer alone,
He's getting out the marrow in your back bone,
And the seven trumpets blowing sweet rock and roll,
Gonna blow right down inside your soul.
Pythagoras with the looking glass reflects the full moon,
In blood, he's writing the lyrics of a HIP brand new tune.
 
#7
This is quite weird :wink:

I've got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I often kiss you when there's no one else around

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all 'round myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of them all 'round myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up I'm turning down
I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone Ranger
Everyone...

That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

[guitar]

Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so, think so, think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Ah, The Vapors and their touching song about having a thrap, you've got to love it.

Not exactly surprising but Frank Zappa and The Mothers 'Montana' is another conkers one.
 
#8
Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
And they say kids today are fucked up?
 
#9
Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi has got to be a contender

Wham! Bam! my cat Splash
lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
by drinking all my whisky.
As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
I had to sleep in the gutter
where I had a flash
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
in four colours

Allez-oop! One morning
a darling came to my home,
a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair,
a plaster, a hangover,
drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
like an Indian in his igloo

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This work for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me

Allez-oop! The chick***, what a gas!
what a vibration!
to be sent on the door mat
filed, ruined, drained, filled
You are the King of the divan!
she says to me in passing
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I am the King of the divan

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me

Allez-oop! Don't mind, don't worry
Don't affect me
It’s not today
that the sky will fall on my head
and I'll be without glue
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s for me

Allez-oop! my chick has gone away,
flew away, finally had enough, to break
the sink, the bar, leaving me alone
like a complete jerk
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I've put my foot in it

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me
This workss for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
 
#10
And here is another

I don't like you, i don't like your town
I don't wanna like you, i'll shop around
I don't want you, i won't want your town
I don't wanna want you, i'll shop around, i'll shop around
I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers

No take-away, i want my own game
I'm sick of things sized to be working down these lonely streets
No bacon steak, no strawberry milkshake, i wanna keep it

Wild, go wild, go wild in the country
Chorus:
Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free
Wild, go wild, go wild in the country
Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free
I don't know you, i won't know your town

I don't wanna know you, i'll shop around, i'll shop around
No take-away, i want my own game

I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers
No bacon steak, no strawberry milkshake
I do better, well, i do better

Sweet from the trees, nakes in the breeze
But i got no boiled chicken, i wanna go hunting and fishing

Chorus

I can get a plane, i don't need no suitcases, 'cos truth loves to go naked
Chorus

Got no boiled chicken, i wanna go hunting and fishing

I wanna picnic, 'cos i get sick
Go - chorus


I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers

No take-away, i want my own game
 
#12
[h=1]Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants[/h]I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I have a secret to tell
From my electrical well
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
So the room must listen to me
Filibuster vigilantly
My name is blue canary one note* spelled l-i-t-e
My story's infinite
Like the Longines Symphonette it doesn't rest

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

There's a picture opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts
Bluebird of friendliness
Like guardian angels its always near

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

(and while you're at it
Keep the nightlight on inside the
Birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch (and while you're at it)
Who watches over you (keep the nightlight on inside the)
Make a little birdhouse in your soul (birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
 
#13
And here is another

I don't like you, i don't like your town
I don't wanna like you, i'll shop around
I don't want you, i won't want your town
I don't wanna want you, i'll shop around, i'll shop around
I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers

No take-away, i want my own game
I'm sick of things sized to be working down these lonely streets
No bacon steak, no strawberry milkshake, i wanna keep it

Wild, go wild, go wild in the country
Chorus:
Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free
Wild, go wild, go wild in the country
Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free
I don't know you, i won't know your town

I don't wanna know you, i'll shop around, i'll shop around
No take-away, i want my own game

I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers
No bacon steak, no strawberry milkshake
I do better, well, i do better

Sweet from the trees, nakes in the breeze
But i got no boiled chicken, i wanna go hunting and fishing

Chorus

I can get a plane, i don't need no suitcases, 'cos truth loves to go naked
Chorus

Got no boiled chicken, i wanna go hunting and fishing

I wanna picnic, 'cos i get sick
Go - chorus


I can get a tray, i don't need no hamburgers

No take-away, i want my own game
Bow Wow Wow - Go Wild In The Country - YouTube
 
#14
This is quite weird :wink:

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
You really think so? I think it is about masturbation.

And damn, beaten to it with 'Supper's Ready' by a pre-Collins Genesis.
 
#15
You really think so? I think it is about masturbation.

And damn, beaten to it with 'Supper's Ready' by a pre-Collins Genesis.
Your flash to bang time is not the best to be honest.
 
#16
This is quite weird :wink:

I've got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I often kiss you when there's no one else around

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all 'round myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of them all 'round myself
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up I'm turning down
I'm turning in I'm turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone Ranger
Everyone...

That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

[guitar]

Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so, think so, think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

Wah?......Er, you do know why he's 'Turning Japanese'?.....due to laying on his pit, in his bedroom/cell, w*nking over pictures of chicks stuck on his wall and the 'Japanese' bit is his cum face.

Just saying like.
 
#18
Wah?......Er, you do know why he's 'Turning Japanese'?.....due to laying on his pit, in his bedroom/cell, w*nking over pictures of chicks stuck on his wall and the 'Japanese' bit is his cum face.

Just saying like.
Has everyone been on the Windolene this morning apart from me?
 
#19
Always liked this by Sensational Alex Harvey Band. (aye, I know. Look it up, phillistines!)

Next!

Naked as sin
an army towel, covering my belly
Some of us weep, some of us howl
Knees turn to jelly
But Next! Next!
I was just a child
A hundred like me
I followed a naked body
a naked body followed me
Next! Next!
I was just a child when my innocence was lost
in a mobile army whorehouse
a gift of the army, free of cost
Next! Next! Next!
Me, I really would have liked a little bit of tenderness
Maybe a word, maybe a smile, maybe some happiness
But Next! Next!
Oh it was not so tragic
and heaven did not fall
But how much at that time
I hated being there at all
Next! Next!
I still recall the brothel trucks, the flying flags
The queer lieutenant slapped our arses
thinking we were fags
Next! Next! Next!

I swear on the wet head
of my first case of gonorrhea
It is his ugly voice that I forever fear
Next! Next!
A voice that stinks of whiskey
of corpses and of mud
The voice of nations
the thick voice of blood
Next! Next!
Since then each woman I have taken into bed
they seem to lie in my arms
and they whisper in my head
Next! Next!

All the naked and the dead
could hold each other's hands
as they watch me dream at night
in a dream that nobody understands
and though I am not dreaming in a voice
grown dry and hollow
I stand on endless naked lines of the following and the followed
Next! Next!

One day I'll cut my legs off
I'll burn myself alive
I'll do anything to get out of life to survive
not ever to be next
Next! Next!
not ever
to be next, not ever...................
 
#20
Always liked this by Sensational Alex Harvey Band. (aye, I know. Look it up, phillistines!)

Next!

Naked as sin
an army towel, covering my belly
Some of us weep, some of us howl
Knees turn to jelly
But Next! Next!
I was just a child
A hundred like me
I followed a naked body
a naked body followed me
Next! Next!
I was just a child when my innocence was lost
in a mobile army whorehouse
a gift of the army, free of cost
Next! Next! Next!
Me, I really would have liked a little bit of tenderness
Maybe a word, maybe a smile, maybe some happiness
But Next! Next!
Oh it was not so tragic
and heaven did not fall
But how much at that time
I hated being there at all
Next! Next!
I still recall the brothel trucks, the flying flags
The queer lieutenant slapped our arses
thinking we were fags
Next! Next! Next!

I swear on the wet head
of my first case of gonorrhea
It is his ugly voice that I forever fear
Next! Next!
A voice that stinks of whiskey
of corpses and of mud
The voice of nations
the thick voice of blood
Next! Next!
Since then each woman I have taken into bed
they seem to lie in my arms
and they whisper in my head
Next! Next!

All the naked and the dead
could hold each other's hands
as they watch me dream at night
in a dream that nobody understands
and though I am not dreaming in a voice
grown dry and hollow
I stand on endless naked lines of the following and the followed
Next! Next!

One day I'll cut my legs off
I'll burn myself alive
I'll do anything to get out of life to survive
not ever to be next
Next! Next!
not ever
to be next, not ever...................
The wonderful SAHB - saw them a few times. I think the lyrics are Bertold Brecht, about a bloke visiting an army brothel.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top