Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by chilipepper, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Moses is sitting in the Egyptian ghetto, things are going terrible: the Pharoah won't even talk to him, the rest of the Hebrews are mad at him for making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He's about ready to give up.

    Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice speaks from above: "You, Moses, heed Me. I have good news, and bad news."

    Moses is staggered. The voice continues:

    "You, Moses, will lead the people of Israel from bondage. If the pharoah refueses to release your bonds I will smote egypt with a rain of frogs.

    "You, Moses, will lead the people of Israel to the promised land. If the pharoah blocks your way I will smote egypt with a plague of locusts.

    "You, Moses, will lead the people to freedom and safety. If the pharoah's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the red sea to open your path to the promised land."

    Moses is stunned. He stammers, "That's, that's fantastic, I can't believe it! - but what's the bad news?"

    "You, moses, must write the environmental impact statement."