Morning rapists!

Rape or surprise sex?

  • Rape

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Surprise sex

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Just thought I'd say hello to all those rapists out there!
 
#3
Rape is an ugly word. I prefer demi-consensual sexual activity...
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
Spaff Recepticle Trespass
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#5
I believe the French pronounce it ''Rarr-pay.''
 
#6
In a recent survey, 100% of female victumes said they prefered 'surprise sex to death' were as only 97% of male victumes said the same :D
 
#7
I'm raped once every few weeks.

During her ovulation she will touch my arm, get a bit giggly and pet my face a lot..When I show my disgust and turn back towards Dragons Den she exacts a slow and pitiful response.

1, Apparently I dont fancy her (not strictly true, she is a belter, just very annoying)

2, I apparently was fine 'f*cking that sl*g for months behind my back' (granted, but that 'sl*g' was dirtier than an Aberfan rescue worker with the vagina of a 16 year old)

3, She, apparently sees no point in us continuing without a 'sex life' (I dont consider 2-3 days of frantic trying for a baby a discernable sex life)

4, I'm apparently cold and unresponsive (probably a polite nod to my f*cking off to Cancun for a massive smash up 3 days after she queefed out our last attempt at parentage)

I give in, make the effort, but in the interest of having an easy life I soldier on..
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#8
Giving your mind a treat there JR the Turd?

I thought that this was more in your line for pleasure :cyclopsani:
 
#9
Women just need to stop being so picky. If they said yes to every man who propositioned them we could eradicate rape, there would be no more suffering psychologically for the victims and a lot less bruises. Problem solved. WOMEN- JUST SAY YES.
 
#11
Well Auld-Yin that's got my eyes open. - and the cheque book.

Over here rape is a fish (rra-pey).

But one advantage to unsolicted-sexual activity is that the legal age for hanky-panky is only 13 over here.
I didn't realise that until recently but it has allowed me to look at some of my classes and students in a different light. :muhaha:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#12
Cuddles said:
Rape is an ugly word. I prefer demi-consensual sexual activity...
Personally, I opt for semi-conscious sexual activity. A bit of occasional twitching can help.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#13
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
I'm raped once every few weeks.

During her ovulation she will touch my arm, get a bit giggly and pet my face a lot..When I show my disgust and turn back towards Dragons Den she exacts a slow and pitiful response.

1, Apparently I dont fancy her (not strictly true, she is a belter, just very annoying)

2, I apparently was fine 'f*cking that sl*g for months behind my back' (granted, but that 'sl*g' was dirtier than an Aberfan rescue worker with the vagina of a 16 year old)

3, She, apparently sees no point in us continuing without a 'sex life' (I dont consider 2-3 days of frantic trying for a baby a discernable sex life)

4, I'm apparently cold and unresponsive (probably a polite nod to my f*cking off to Cancun for a massive smash up 3 days after she queefed out our last attempt at parentage)

I give in, make the effort, but in the interest of having an easy life I soldier on..
You need to get this situation squared away pronto shipmate. Tell her that you really want a baby too but it is proven fact that you have to 'clean the pipes' at least once a day in order to keep your jitler in check. Then as she cries in pain as you rape her bum during rag week, you can explain that you are only doing it because you love her and you want her to be the mother of your seed.

It works for me anyway.
 
#14
Ive already pinged the underlying issue, I w*nk an awful lot, it warms me up for a day in the office, it breaks up the mid morning, serves as a delightful apertif after dinner and still manage a turbo shuffle when she is 10 minutes from the house...

If I leave it alone for 2 days i fall in love with her all over again..

Suffice to say id rather have a child with my sister than that c*nt....regardless, both potential abominations would be webbed of feet, large of ears and banished to the attic for eternity
 
#15
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Cuddles said:
Rape is an ugly word. I prefer demi-consensual sexual activity...
Personally, I opt for semi-conscious sexual activity. A bit of occasional twitching can help.
Don't write cheques with your pen that your body can't fulfil! :twisted:
 
#16
Ive had a Jenny at Daedalus snap rigid and shout 'what the hell do you think your doing!' whilst eating her out after a horrible night in Gosport,
Suffice to say I sh*t myself until I twigged on that the fat c*nt had fallen asleep and was still dead to the world.

I left, minus ego and 50 sovs lighter in cab fare
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#17
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Ive already pinged the underlying issue, I w*nk an awful lot, it warms me up for a day in the office, it breaks up the mid morning, serves as a delightful apertif after dinner and still manage a turbo shuffle when she is 10 minutes from the house...

If I leave it alone for 2 days i fall in love with her all over again..

Suffice to say id rather have a child with my sister than that c*nt....regardless, both potential abominations would be webbed of feet, large of ears and banished to the attic for eternity
Aye.

There's nothing like sneaking out of work 15 minutes early so you can get home first and throw yourself around for a bit. I recently discovered that I can rig my laptop up to my 42 inch TV. It's awesome, I put on a selection from one of my preferred 'general interest' websites, turn up the surround sound and bounce off the walls for at least half an hour before she comes home for 'snuggles.'

Anyway back on thread: I went twos up on a whore in Singapore once and then me and my oppo ran off without paying, is that technically rape? We bummed her and everything. My oppo even tried to fuck her nose.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
Cuddles said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Cuddles said:
Rape is an ugly word. I prefer demi-consensual sexual activity...
Personally, I opt for semi-conscious sexual activity. A bit of occasional twitching can help.
Don't write cheques with your pen that your body can't fulfil! :twisted:

quote]

Pen? I use a leadless pencil!
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
whats covered in bruises and doesnt like sex very much?







a rape victim.
 
#20
Cuddles said:
Rape is an ugly word. I prefer demi-consensual sexual activity...
I perfer to say "look, I've got a knife! Let's not make this rape, eh...?"
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top