Morning rapists!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by g2_loony_bin, Jan 27, 2010.

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  1. Rape

  2. Surprise sex

  1. Just thought I'd say hello to all those rapists out there!
  2. Come again 8O
    Bit early for hitting the vodka?
  3. Rape is an ugly word. I prefer demi-consensual sexual activity...
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Spaff Recepticle Trespass
  5. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I believe the French pronounce it ''Rarr-pay.''
  6. In a recent survey, 100% of female victumes said they prefered 'surprise sex to death' were as only 97% of male victumes said the same :D
  7. I'm raped once every few weeks.

    During her ovulation she will touch my arm, get a bit giggly and pet my face a lot..When I show my disgust and turn back towards Dragons Den she exacts a slow and pitiful response.

    1, Apparently I dont fancy her (not strictly true, she is a belter, just very annoying)

    2, I apparently was fine 'f*cking that sl*g for months behind my back' (granted, but that 'sl*g' was dirtier than an Aberfan rescue worker with the vagina of a 16 year old)

    3, She, apparently sees no point in us continuing without a 'sex life' (I dont consider 2-3 days of frantic trying for a baby a discernable sex life)

    4, I'm apparently cold and unresponsive (probably a polite nod to my f*cking off to Cancun for a massive smash up 3 days after she queefed out our last attempt at parentage)

    I give in, make the effort, but in the interest of having an easy life I soldier on..
  8. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Giving your mind a treat there JR the Turd?

    I thought that this was more in your line for pleasure :cyclopsani:
  9. Women just need to stop being so picky. If they said yes to every man who propositioned them we could eradicate rape, there would be no more suffering psychologically for the victims and a lot less bruises. Problem solved. WOMEN- JUST SAY YES.
  10. F*ck me, I'm a veritable Alki/Cold War ect ect magnet this week..
  11. Well Auld-Yin that's got my eyes open. - and the cheque book.

    Over here rape is a fish (rra-pey).

    But one advantage to unsolicted-sexual activity is that the legal age for hanky-panky is only 13 over here.
    I didn't realise that until recently but it has allowed me to look at some of my classes and students in a different light. :muhaha:
  12. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Personally, I opt for semi-conscious sexual activity. A bit of occasional twitching can help.
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    You need to get this situation squared away pronto shipmate. Tell her that you really want a baby too but it is proven fact that you have to 'clean the pipes' at least once a day in order to keep your jitler in check. Then as she cries in pain as you rape her bum during rag week, you can explain that you are only doing it because you love her and you want her to be the mother of your seed.

    It works for me anyway.
  14. Ive already pinged the underlying issue, I w*nk an awful lot, it warms me up for a day in the office, it breaks up the mid morning, serves as a delightful apertif after dinner and still manage a turbo shuffle when she is 10 minutes from the house...

    If I leave it alone for 2 days i fall in love with her all over again..

    Suffice to say id rather have a child with my sister than that c*nt....regardless, both potential abominations would be webbed of feet, large of ears and banished to the attic for eternity
  15. Don't write cheques with your pen that your body can't fulfil! :twisted: