More Yorkeshiremen

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by ugly, Jul 24, 2013.

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  1. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Subject: When God Created Yorkshire

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired, "Where have you been?"

    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

    "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it.

    I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

    "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

    God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

    "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

    Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

    God continued pointing to different countries.

    "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

    The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

    "That's Yorkshire , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Yorkshire are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things"

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

    God smiled, "Right next to Yorkshire is Lancashire .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"
     
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  2. THAT is quality.
     
  3. FORMER_FYRDMAN

    FORMER_FYRDMAN LE Book Reviewer

    Good excuse to post this:

    yorkshire airways - YouTube

    Ghastly place Yorkshire - William the Conqueror had the right idea when he torched the place.
     
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  4. Actually, he was second, the vikings did it first.
     
  5. Except
    except knowing how fallible man was and always knowing that man needed a target to achieve, that he never could, he created Westmoreland and Cumberland.

    The case rests M'Lord
     


  6. Been done before but still makes me smirk.
     
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  7. There are two types of people ' Yorkshire folk and t' rest' the rest aren't worthing bothering with..so there :)
     
  8. I were born in't Yorkshire I were.
     
  9. So how do you account for Hull?
     
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  10. iirc "alans snackbar" is the new "ay upp"in most of west yorkshire these days,
     
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  11. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Well thats what happens when you drain swamps!
     
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  12. Yorkshire is famous for its puddings I'm told:
    yorkshire puddings.jpg
     
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  13. From Hell, Hull and Halifax may the GOOD LORD preserve us.
     
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  14. I heard a rumour that jays from the Barnsley area.

    If that`s true then he`ll talk like Arthur.