Christiano Ronaldo is discussing his transfer to Real Madrid. The president says to him that he will amass wealth beyond his wildest dreams, and his signing on fee is Â£25million, with 200,000euros a week. Fantastic says Ronaldo, when I was at Man Utd, I only got a hundred grand a week. The president shows him a 10 bed luxury mansion in Madrid's most fashionable area, this is yours, he exclaims, with servants and cleaners and all staff to wait on your every whim, Fantastic says Ronaldo, when I was at Man Utd, I had to live on Coronation street. The president then shows him a fleet of luxury, 4X4 and sports cars. These are for you Christiano, you can use what ever you want, they all carry your personal plate, and you can drive yourself, or have a driver assigned to you, it's your choice. Fantastic says Ronaldo, when I was at Man Utd, all I had was the Ferrari I bought off Giggsy, and that had some front end damage. Finally, the first game arrives, and the manager is giving the pre match team talk. Christiano, he says, I want you to play through the middle, make penetrating runs, and shoot when ever you can. I want you to head the corners, take the free kicks and take on the centre backs, and if you do well, we'll pull you off at half time. Fantastic says Ronaldo, when I was at Man Utd, all I got was a cup of tea and half an orange!!!