More Bollocks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by brummieboy1, Oct 6, 2011.

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  1. Got this today in an e-mail. Its almost as bad as that poem about Santa.

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    • Airline Lunches
      I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight from Gatwick. 'I'm glad I have a good book to read Perhaps I will get a short sleep,' I thought.

      Just before take-off, a line of British Army Youngsters came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats,
      totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you blokes headed?' I asked the young man seated nearest to me.
      Cyprus . We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Afghanistan .
      After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that lunches were available for five pounds.
      It would be several hours before we reached Cyprus , and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time..

      As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his mate if he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just an airline lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five Quid. I'll wait till we get to Cyprus .... His mate agreed.

      I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty Pound note. 'Take a lunch to all those soldiers..' She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My young bloke was a soldier in Iraq , it's almost like you are doing it for him..'

      Picking up ten lunchboxes, she headed up the aisle to where the boys were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?'
      'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked..
      She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. This is your thanks.
      After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. An old bloke stopped me. 'I saw what you did.. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five Pounds..
      Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he wasn't looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, and said, 'I want to shake your hand.'
      Quickly unfastening my seat-belt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, 'I was an army pilot a long time back. Once someone bought me lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.
      Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs.. A kid who looked about 18 was sitting about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five Pounds in my palm.
      When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to depart. Waiting just inside the aeroplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word.
      Another twenty-five Pounds!

      Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip up to their training area.. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five Pounds. 'It will take you some time to reach your training area. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You Blokes.'

      Ten young blokes left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow Brits. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little...


      A British Serviceman is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
      cheque made payable to ' United Kingdom ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.'

      That is Honour, and there are way too many foreigners in this country
      who don't understand it.'


      May you have the strength and courage to pass this along to everyone on your email mates list....

      I JUST DID!





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  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I've just been sick you cunt!
     
    • Like Like x 8
  3. Is it possible to un-read that utter shite?!
     
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  4. Ouch that hurt ....................

    Kind regards,

    R M
     
  5. I have to agree, it is the most cringe worthy piece of shite I have read for a long time. If you concentrate on the "content" its got more holes in it than my under crackers, and they're more holey than righteous.
     
  6. Had to have been written by a yank,regardless of the subject matter.
     
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  7. Wow, exactly the same thing happened to me, except in my one the Captain let me fly the plane and do loop the loops and stuff.

    Oh, and they all gave me £50 pounds each not 25.
     
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  8. My eyes are stinging and flashing giant black/white letters,,optician needed now...
     
  9. ohh is it that time of year when this bollox comes out again, don't forget the one about the soldier in the airport who uses his special radio to talk to some kids dad.... starbucks won't give free coffee to service personnel.... Super secret SAS/para/marine/boy scouts/guides stop a thief who happens to end up with many injuries.. that fucking christmas poem...
     
  10. I can hardly wait for the Christmas poem. As for the "original" offering, I've had that rammed down my throat by Yanks for years, except of course it was a Yank plane flying to Dallas or somesuch and the money was dollars.
     
  11. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I just got the ten seconds to vomit warning.

    'Where are you blokes headed?' I asked the young man seated nearest to me. "Well it said Cyprus on the departures board and it says Cyprus on your ticket and the pilot said 'our estimated time of arrival in Larnica is 2.00pm GMT and the temperature is 30 Celsius' but we are headed for Reykjavik. Now shut the fuck up with the stupid questions before we dry-bum you"
     
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  12. Serves you right for travelling club class with 216 Squadron
     
  13. Was it the captain off Flying High? Did he ask you about the gladiator movies? FFS don't eat the fish...
     
  14. I've just been a little sick in my mouth. That is fucking awful.
    I wonder how long that will take to be posted on Facebook.
     
  15. Courtesy of 'dallas' on PPRuNe:

     
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