Morale Morale Morale

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mr Happy, May 31, 2005.

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  1. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    Chaps, there is around the place a joke 'sign' that mimics the actions on the event of a fire. Something like:

    "on discovering the outbreak of Morale, shout Morale Morale Morale and inform the nearest RSM" etc etc

    It runs through the sequence required to stamp out morale.

    Has anyone got a copy floating around, it tickled me but I can't seem to find it.

    Mr H
  2. Sorry we lost our morale years ago, so no need for such signs here.....we do have ones for when QAs sit on your face though :wink:

    In the event of an outbreak of morale, the following action is to be taken IMMEDIATELY:

    By the person discovering the morale

    Raise the alarm by shouting: MORALE, MORALE, MORALE.
    Attempt to gain assistance ring the nearest morale alarm and make a quick attempt to stamp out the morale (do not expose yourself to the source of the morale).
    Ring the ANTI DIVISIONAL MORALE TEAM by dialing 666 on any military phone.
    Inform the guardroom who will dispatch the Quick Reaction Morale Force and sound the camp morale outbreak siren.

    By the Quick Reaction Morale Force

    Report to the guardroom without delay.
    Collect anti-morale contingency kit (extra duties roster, brooms, black bags etc).
    Send one man to meet the Divisional Anti-Morale Team.

    3. By those in the vicinity of the morale

    Close all the doors and windows.
    Attack the morale with all available resources.
    Retire to a safe distance and await the arrival of the Divisional Anti-Morale Team.

    4. By the Divisional Anti-Morale Team

    Don morale proof anoraks, white socks and brogues.
    Locate the source of the morale and contain immediately.
    Place all affected personnel on fatigues and dispense extra duties in
    blocks of no less than 15.
    Reassure all minor cases by having them clean up outside areas for 1
    Do NOT expose yourself for longer than absolutely necessary.

    The above action should be sufficient to prevent the outbreak spreading. Extra preventative measures that can be taken could employed are:

    Restrict all personnel to barracks.
    Introduce a two-can rule in the Sqn/Unit Mess Bars.
    Withdraw chips from all meals.
    Instigate Ex Pointless [expletive] on a weekly basis.
    In severe cases delay mail in and out and place a fault on the Paradigm telephone system.

  4. And don't forget that the floggings will continue until morale improves.
  5. wonder if there is a civvie (Office environment) one, would be just the ticket for my office.....
  6. Civvies have no sense of humour so I doubt it
  7. I put one up at work that said in 72 point bold arial:


    And then in tiny 8 point letters underneath, the Words:

    We'll have none of that bullsh!t here, Thank-you very much
  8. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    I'm drunk now and unfunny when sober, best i don't try

    SweatySock, cheers big man, anything you need you let me know ('cept FPF, can't hit sh*te)
  9. You will be appropriately sourced when I post this around the office. Thank you.
  10. Is this a touch of bezzering i can see, lol