moral guidance

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cheggarsRE, Dec 22, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Housework

  2. Band of Brothers Marathon

  1. So come on, i need your reasons here to justify to the wife/myself why i have done one and not the other

    for those that say, watch one and do some housework then watch another then you really haven't got an appreciation for BoB

    all help appreciated
  2. Tell her you put your back out getting the hoover out.
  3. Do the housework really quickly and not too well, then watch the full BoB and remind her (often) how you slaved over the vacuum cleaner and duster for ages, and if it still isn't good enough she should do it herself in future...
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Man up FFS. Tell her you did what YOU wanted to do and then tell her to get a brew on.

    Mind you when she actually walks into the room you may want to think of something else to say.
  5. I have a local bird that comes in every day for a couple of hours to do all that.
  6. Band of Brothers, on at full volume, slam a few doors and the neighbour's resulting call to plod "heard gun-shots", will ensure that the Police corden will keep the Doris at bay - somewhere in a near-by street, whilst communications are establshed (as long as you need). Thus not having to do any housework - problem solved. Leave the door off the lock, kill the DVD player and head upstairs to take cover - when plod storms the house, come out from where you've been "keeping your head down, as you heard gun-shots" - and you might get a new front door, and Doris will think you're "Soooooo brave Cheggars" - result all round. Let me know if the plan works - attempting similar!
  7. Plug the hoover in and leave it by the front door. 2 minutes before she gets home, spray polish by front door. As she walks in hand her a cup of tea as at the same time you apoligise for not having time to put the hoover away. Easy!
  8. Snaffle of of these...


    Then plumb in your DVD, stick that in your bergen (or large pack :( ) and crack on with the hoovering.

    Sorted :wink:
  9. Sod her. When she comes in tell her that you have been watching band of brothers. If she kicks off, punch her lights out and do her up the arrse.

    She will either never ask you to clean again, or ask you to clean every other day on the understanding that she will get violent angry bumfun at the end of it.

  10. elovabloke

    elovabloke LE Moderator

    Your starting to sound like a woman. Hovering and polishing anything up to a 3 bedroom house takes 5 mins tops - man up, do both.
  11. hoovering - womens work
  12. ...and more besides :wink:
  13. As an added "red rag" to a bull, take a pair of clean NBC inner gloves. Run the finger of one lightly along the top of a door-frame. When she comes home point to the offending finger-tip and ask her where she gets off on nagging YOU about the cleaning when your white glove inspection revealed idle doors, idle skirting, idle this and idle that. Tell her to "show house" and then p1ss off to the pub.

    Funnily enough my first wife WAS unimpressed with that and strangely, no, I haven't tried that one on TFB - yet! She went mental when I offered her a template the first time she offered to iron my shirts...

    Bottom line - BOB Marathon; it's the way forwards!
  14. Dig out you old french maids outfit and start cleaning. That thumb prints just getting bigger !!
  15. Define 'housework'?