Moral Dilemma

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cait, May 15, 2006.

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  1. I have a problem and need some advise from my fellow arrsers.

    My Grandmother is well into her 80s, despite her double hip replacement, kidney transplant, cataracts removal and partial vulvectomy she still insists that she’s the same feisty girl who defied Hitler during the war and still marches past the cenotaph every remembrance day. She lives in a beautiful 1850 built 3 storey town house, unfortunately due to her poor mobility and failing eyesight she is struggling to get up the stairs but refuses to move out. I worry about her all the time, i dont want her suffering or worse falling and breaking the bones in her frail body. I’ve had a couple of quotes in for those stair lifts, which i thought would help, the average cost being £5K and im reluctant to shell out. Anyway it was whilst I was round at the old dears I noticed her neighbour had an all singing, all dancing hot tub installed onto their decking, I’ve always fancied one but my dilemma is this:

    Should I spend the money getting a hot tub installed into my gaff…… or spend on a better cause, something a bit more worthwhile..... like jimmy choos or a flat screen cinema TV for the en-suite?

    Advice would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Before agonising too much about this, are you likely to inherit from your Grandma's estate?
  3. Well, I for one would compromise. Get your gran to go halves on everything if she can. Old women are notoriously nesty so she must have a few grand stored in her knicker elastic.

    Failing that, if she's having mobility issues then see if the NHS or social services can contribute some cash.

    If either of these plans work you'll have enough cash to buy the TV/hot tub combination relatively guilt free.

    Failing that, have the old dear sent off to somewhere warden controlled, sell her house and spend a year drinking the profits.
  4. Cait, do not help her!

    The three floor building mean that if she dies in bed she will be closer to Jesus.

    The stairs are keeping her fit and alive, get her a lift and she will be fat and idle in a fortnight. If they take her a four hours to get up, it saves her money on wordsearches and puzzle books. It also means she isn't on the phone to you ranting about the good old days and life pre colostomy bag.

    My advice would be to throw her on the street, sell the house from under her, spend all the money on yourself buy her a dose of Spanish Dancer and point her towards the hospice.
  5. Does she have an electric buggy? turn her stairs into a slope and she can just motor up them! Fitting a loop at the bottom would allow her to prove she she’s the same feisty girl who defied Hitler during the war


    Do a "Shipman" on her, sell her house and get the hot tub etc.

    You could just let natural selection take its toll, perhaps greasing the stairs to assist natural selection.
  6. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Could you not get Social services to install a hot tub for her to aid her aching limbs.
  7. As an example of how ungrateful an old dear can be I will relayt a story to you about my Grandmother.

    I came home on leave and after being back two weeks I thought I'd pay her a visit to see if she was ok and to see if she still kept putting my pocket money away.

    When I got there, I noticed her health had deteriorated and that two mastectomies, a pulminary embalism and lymph surgery had taken its toll.

    I took £50 from her purse (which was rightfully mine) and told her to relax in her pissy puddle and I would fix her tea.... I went up to the cafe up the road and got an old lady dish of sardines on toast with sticky toffee pudding and custard.

    When I went round the following day she was dead on the floor.... as a means of attention seekign she had fallen face first onto the fireplace, smashing her cheek bone..

    Her dinner had barely been touched!!!!
  8. To be honest i hadnt really given the old dear much thought in the dilemma, how selfish of me. Do you think i should invite her along to help me choose the jimmy choos?

    I had a similar situation before Christmas, my Gran had slipped getting out the bath and popped her newly installed titanium hip right out of its chrome effect ball socket. 10 days she laid there, her wrinkled body blue from the cold, her voice nothing more than a whisper shouting for help. Her quick thinking and land army training took over and she survived by sucking the moisture from her all over body flannel & eating the crisp remains from her foot pumice.
    I remember the day well because I had gone out to buy her one of those intercom things that have a red pull cord in each room, they so pricey but I did buy myself a seated petrol operated lawn mower with matching leaf Hoover, bonus!
  9. Buy Granny a bucket, throw a mattress in the corner on the ground floor, rent out the upper floors and buy those shoes.

    Beebs x
  10. See what I mean about attention seeking?

    If you had bought her a stairlift, that would have been ten days without use.... £5k on someone with only days / weeks to push is a blatant waste of funds... it could work out costing £20 per day, just to get a wrinkly up and down a set of stairs... and how the hell would you sell it on again after, stinking of everton mints and lavender

    When someone passes 65 there is little point spending money on them
  11. Cait,

    Get Granny a Disabled Facilities Grant for her stairlift and get her to sign her house over to you!

    That way she gets up and down stairs, her house won't have to be sold for nursing home fees and you avoid inheritance tax.

    It's a win - win situation!

    P.s Can I join you in the hot tub?
  12. Just convince her to commit a crime, which will result in her being detained at Her Maj's Pleasure, which leaves you free to sell house and invest in said bubbly delights :D Plus, extras
  13. Cait, Them stair lifts are very hard to shift second hand. You'll get £500 at the most.Get her to sell house, put the money in ISAS in as a gift/inheritance in yours/brothers/sisters name then get her in sheltered accomadation. It's working for me.!
  14. Hopefully the advice given here will have sent you round to your grandmothers tonight to ensure she is ok, enough coins for the metre, enough hankies tucked up her sleeve to wipe the noses of any children that may pass and enough erotica to keep her dried up old snatch moist until Ernest from the chapel snooker club comes and gives her the fornightly seeing to she craves.

    Please kiss her intimately from me............... and if you get chance pop a mint imperial in her bottom, it mings and her stools are no longer solid
  15. Steps to take: 1) dig large hole in ground floor.
    2) line it with punji stakes.
    3) cut hole in ceiling directly over hole in floor.
    4) in an excited voice, tell dear old Nanna to come and check out the new lift, which will have her downstairs in no time.
    5) fill up hole A with quicklime and re-tile floor.
    6) choose an expensive champagne for consumption in your new hot tub.