I'm in a bit of a dilemma at the moment and feel that the Naafi readership may be able to offer some advice. My dear old grandmother cashed in her chips last week (*sniff blub etc) and so I'm being forced to ruin a perfectly good weekend to go and get her planted tomorrow. I had been hoping to get some good quality midweek funeral action out of the situation but that was not to be. It has also been brought to my attention that this Sunday is Mothering Sunday. Now this isn't usually a problem for me as my old dear thinks herself lucky if she receives a five minute phonecall on the day and a card a week late if the postman hasn't "lost" it. Now in an ideal world we'd have a singsong, quick stretcher race outside, lob her in the hole, chuck a bit of muck on top and I'd be away down the M40 like Stirling Moss. Unfortunately I have this weak whiny civilian voice in my head that's coming out with bone ideas about hanging around until Sunday and being bored rigid about which members of my extended family are suffering from which unpleasant ailments. I can only put this weakness down to the proximity of my Mother's Mum's funeral to said day. The much louder squaddie's voice in my head is saying fuck her at least she doesn't have to bother buying a card this year. Who should I listen to?