Monkeys Down Under

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by Cutaway, Sep 2, 2004.

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  1. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    New ABC Drama Series:

    Following the popularity of the BBC series Red Cap, which shows the hard working, intelligent, brave, heroic, compassionate Military Police of
    the British Army, the ABC is pleased to announce Meat Head, a new drama series about Australian Army Military Police.

    Episode 1: It's a Long Way to the Top*
    In the opening episode we follow Private Jim Loser who thinks a transfer to the MPs is an easy two stripes. See him become bitter and twisted when
    he realises that all he's achieved is to go from the bottom of one pile to the bottom of another.

    Episode 2: Serving the Nation
    This episode covers the vital work of the Military Police.
    Using the latest high tech radar (that the civilian coppers stopped using because it was so unreliable)
    and on the lookout for speed demons who recklessly tear up the base at 41km/h.

    Episode 3: Lost without you.
    In this episode the Meat Heads have the vital task of directing exercise convoys.
    They put out a 6-inch by 6-inch sign with a black arrow on dark green, a foot off the ground and wonder why drivers in a forest at midnight on blackouts can't see it.

    Episode 4: Friends
    (It appears that as Australian Army Military Police don't actually have any, this script is still under development.)

    Episode 5: The Persuaders (a true story).
    When a SLR goes missing from the unit armory, the crack Meat Head SIB team soon suspect the soldier who had the rifle on the previous exercise.
    After a few days downtown he "willingly" signs a confession saying he stole the rifle and sold it to "criminals". Case closed.
    The rifle is found a year later, stock and butt dissolved, in the bottom of the armory's chemical cleaning tank, where it had been all the time.

    Episode 6: Bob Marley
    It's a 4am drug bust at the OR's barracks.
    A further mystery emerges in the females' lines where two female soldiers share a room but only one bed needs making.
    ********* in unfashionable cheap suits expect half-awake diggers to address them by rank when they aren't wearing any.
    Even though don't find drugs (especially on the guy wearing nothing but a towel with his bag of hooch clenched between his butt cheeks),
    no detail escapes the trained Military Policeman's trained eye.
    "Is that your TV?"
    "Yes it is."
    "Do you have a receipt for it?"
    "No."
    "Then how do I know it's not stolen?"
    "You don't. Am I going to be charged with stealing my own TV?"
    "Next time make sure you have a receipt. Get this place cleaned up."



    Meat Head. Coming soon on AJTV


    Second season episodes.

    Episode 7: Urban Stealth vehicle. (True story)
    A RAEME digger is harassed for not wearing a hat whilst picking up the morning tea for the workshop.
    The smoko is cold and late when delivered and the workshop takes revenge by grounding all of the MPs vehicles during routine inspection.
    The MPs borrow a vehicle from the training pool but the only vehicle available is an Inter Mk 5.
    The MPs have to perform all their patrols of the married quarter areas in the Mk5.
    Problems ensue when the MPs cannot catch a thief on a stolen pushbike.

    Episode 8: Where's my machinegun. (True story)
    A Landrover stops at an unmanned checkpoint and finds a machinegun.
    The machinegun is kidnapped and held for ransom of 10 cartons of beer.
    The combined intelligence and detecting powers of the MPs is put too the test but fails to find the culprit.

    Episode 9: The mystery of the flat Bluebird. (True story)
    Pissed gunnies dive from the second floor of their lines onto the roof of the MPs car while the MPs sleep in their office.
    MPs can't understand why the roofs of all their cars are dented.

    Episode 10: I really wanted to be a real cop but they wouldn't take me.
    Semi-documentary: Profiles MP careers.

    Episode 11: Meccano sets. (True story)
    The MPs are tasked with displaying new weapons to the troops (Minimi, Mag58 and Steyr).
    At one display all the weapons are disassembled leaving the MPs to put them back together again.
    Several hours later, MPs turn up at the workshop with a box of parts for the armourers to reassemble.

    Episode 12: English you good read. (True story)
    SIB turns up to a Supply Battalion to investigate the disappearance of a Zodiac assault boat.
    They read the NSN incorrectly and spend a day investigating the disappearance of a gravy boat.
    The Zodiac meanwhile turns up in the unit swimming pool where it is being used for diver training.
     
  2. Gleaming!!

    Although some of it does sound a little far fetched...

    Redcaps was just so gripping and true to life, i think the Aussies will have a tough job being as good.....

    :lol:
     
  3. Neo

    Neo Clanker

    Strewth, Cuts,

    you must a spent some time down under mate. All the terminology there, Diggers, AJTV,RAEME Digger,

    Sounds rivetting stuff doesn't it...

    anyway OOroo mate!
     
  4. If we could combine your littery powers and that of A_S we could have a master piece :lol: :lol: :lol: