Monkeys and wombats

it has been scientifically proven, and you can ask anyone, that if you take 14 monkeys and 2 relatively healthy wombats, they will eventually, if given the chance to do so, get your pay right.

However, thousands of highly trained pay mincers couldnt,unless you beat them all with a dry bat-which is a nice thought.


Well nobody asked me, but given a Monkey's propensity (look it up) to stick it's nuts where the sun don't shine and a Wombat's propensity (same as before) for knocking out Tanks, I would be surprised if any of them could achieve anything!! Maybe best  stick to 'beating things'


War Hero
The gibbon who says no to every request in our pay office has just been promoted out of her job and has been replaced with the daughter of a very crusty LE.

She is a very pretty specimen and needs a dose of whatever I have.  Trouble is, she is on some School Work Experience (???) thing and my sources indicate she is 15years old!

Now I've been in all kinds of trouble before, but never THAT deep....


At 15 years old, your only hope is that it is your first offence (Doubtful) and that you are under 24 (even more doubtful). Doesnt get you off scot free but does tug on the judges heart strings.


Harry I am sure the CGS has men that tug for him (most likely Cav types I would imagine).
At 15 she is probably more experienced than all of us put together.

Shame us

Should I also remind GCS that with regards to the 'under 24' rule for USI, he should also  ensure that he has some evidence that he held a reasonable belief that she was over the age of consent (eg. met her in a bar so she must be over 18 then, your honour)?

Nah, better not eh?

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