Monkey whores

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by smartascarrots, Jan 4, 2008.

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  1. No, not the RMP for a change. Apparently, macaque monkeys have been shown to commodify sex, showing that there may be evolutionary reasons for women being manipulative spunk-buckets.

    New Scientist, so you know it's reliable. What a job.
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Take a bint out for dinner, tell her she looks great, massage her ego, shag her. Buy a house, be THE man, earn good money, keep shagging her . . .

    have a baby, stop shagging, stray, divorce, lose everything . . .

    At least macaque monkeys don't have mortgages and lawyers.
  3. "On average, females had sex 1.5 times per hour, but immediately after being groomed by a male partner, this rate jumped to 3.5 times per hour. "

    .......Put a wedding ring on her finger, and it'll drop to 3.5 times per year.................if you're lucky!!! :cry:
  4. I had a go at that 'grooming' lark once, but had to give it up. The flights to Portugal were costing me a fortune.

    Never found a female who would do it 1.5 times per hour, though. Not with me, anyway.
  5. 1.5 times? Does she have the full works and then get half way through round two and decide "it hurts" and make him stop?
  6. This certainly wins the "Best Thread Title of 2008 so far" award.

    I'm not surprised, most of the whores round my way look, and smell, like monkeys.
  7. Of the auther of the investigation.

    Nothing at all to do with Monkies shagging then? :twisted:
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    "reciprocal altruism"

    'You give me money, keep me groomed, and I'll not divorce you and take everything.'

    'Yes dear, but can I still have sex once in a blue moon?'
  9. What shocks me is that Darwin wrote Origin of Species in 1859 and people still think we're still super distinct from other animals, we're just monkeys with bigger brains and opposable thumbs, thats it. This just further confirms that we don't have special status.

    Great title for the thread tho.

  10. Prooof positive he doesn't work for The Scum. They just love stories about Monkeys getting their kit off.
  11. Nearly all Old World monkeys have opposable thumbs, as do the great apes, oppossum and racoons. It is our upright gate, brain size, language and consciousness that distinguishes us from apes et al.
  12. Come now, I've been to Liverpool. You're not fooling anyone.
  13. Shouldn't that be distinguishes some of us :roll:

    Attached Files:

  14. Breakfast gone, thank heaven you posted that before lunch!

    Note that the advantage of an opposable thumb for a monkey whore is that they can administer a much more effective hand job.
  15. Just out of curiosity, what is your idea of grooming? Poking a lady in the back isn't funny or erotic :wink: