Monkery business.

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Fablonbiffchit, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A visitor is getting a tour of a small ancient monastery in a remote area by the head monk. He's told that complete sexual abstinence is taken very seriously, but rather than outlaw it entirely it helps the monks to bear their trial it by giving them a little hope as a 'release'. It was an old practice that once every year the dozen or so monks sit around a round table, their robes hoisted up at front, and their penises placed round the table's edge. Then a mouse is brought in and placed in the table's centre. It runs round and round and whoever's penis it stops at, that monk is then allowed to go into town with a portion of the monastery's meagre funds and spend one night with a prostitute. The visitor was astonished on hearing this but felt it wasn't really his place to criticise such an old and revered tradition. As he was ending his guided tour he heard a low moaning from a nearby room. His guide tried to usher him passed it but he managed to look through a tiny grille in the door and could just make out a man there, tonsured head, chained naked facing the wall, his back with bloody whip marks all over it. "Who's that?" he asked. His guide was at first reluctant to say anything but, on being pressed, he gave out that it was a monk who'd let down the monastery. "Why? What on earth had he done? It must have been damned serious to have merited such a severe punishment" The guide sighed, then whispered "Well, he cheated. We found a little chunk of cheddar under his foreskin."
     
  2. Quite good that.