Mongol mishappenings

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Nov 15, 2005.

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  1. Today I think I found the key to the door Ive been tying to open for nearly eighteen months...

    Ive tried seduction, jokes, crudeness, bribes, begging, demanding, threats of violence, all sorts in an effort to get Cait bent over touching her toes in front of me.....

    Today, purely by accident she nealry flooded the Car at Burger King when I jokingly paid for our drinks with a beadle / claw / mong hand.

    Her nipples shot through the front of her jumper like a pair of liquorice torpedos and she let out a murmer and sigh that had my testes twitching.

    When it dawned on me that the mocked hand was arousing her, I did it with both hands and threw an inverted footed limp (as used by the Korean Mong team at the Helsinki freestyle championships)....

    I thought I'd cracked it, no way was I not getting laid....

    How fcukign wrong could I be??????????? she simply sat there in frenzied bliss, lapping away at the back of my crooked hands in her own world of seemed ecstacy... I thought she was reaching orgasm at one point, she was just adjusting her arse cheeks to squeeze out a lady trump and a giggle.

    All I got out of it was sucking the gush marks out of the car seat when she went back to work..... Everytime I get the whiff of Tuna brine I'm destined for a boner

    Saying that...tomorrow I intend paying a visit in a motorised chair, neck brace and head dobber... in the hope she might hop on and ride me in a fit of lust

    Any other Arsers thought they were going to get there end away only to end up losing out to something handicapped?
     
  2. You could have posted a warning about that picture MDN.

    I'm having trouble hiding the evidence of its effects.

    How am I going to get a dent and some stains from the underside of my desk?
     
  3. Forget the desk, how am I meant to clean the mess up from my screen and keyboard?? :twisted:
     
  4. Sit with your groin under the desk like any normal bloke would.

    That way, any unexpected eruptions are hidden from your co-workers, unless you want them to be noticed by, say, the new temp (or the tea boy, if you ride the other bus)

    Bringing office harmony to all. Another Fluffy Bunny service.
     
  5. woody time...it must be the state of that straw in the cup that done it... how the end looks so chewed.......back in a mo....
     
  6. ooops

    :oops:

    Shouldn't have looked at the picture again.

    Shot neglect, over
     
  7. everybody say their goodbyes to Mr Do Nut ...

    because if i know cait ..... he is f ucking deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.



    :D :D :D

    good stitch mate.
     
  8. Fookin' 'ell - I'm saving that pic to my hard drive - mongs and Burger King combined - my idea of heaven!

    Cheers MDN! :D
     
  9. What a tongue...

    (nothing more needs to be said!!)
     
  10. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Awwww ! Aren't they sweet little pudgy fingers ?
    I reckon they look real.

    So MDN, are you a proper dribbling spaz or just a mong walt ?
     
  11. MDN is breaking that hand in for jeremy beadle ...


    just like he's breaking his head in as a spare for simon weston.
     
  12. I think I should make it very clear at this point that it isn't the sight of MDNs hand that is having the effect on me.

    Just wanted to clear that one up.

    Luckily, as something of a pointy-head, I have a wireless router, so can examine the picture in the privacy of the latrine during breaks.

    However, I'm beginning to suffer from zinc & vitamin K deficiency. Anyone care to suggest a good brand of vitamin supplement?
     
  13. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    You should be ashamed of yourself, shortfuse. Squaddie humour is all very well but mocking a disabled man is despicable.

    Jeremy Beadle didn't ask to be born that way. In fact I believe he's trying to improve himself; he's taking a secretarial studies course at college now that his TV work has dried up.






    Apparently it'll help with his shorthand.
     
  14. If he's trying to improve his skills he deserves a round of applause.

    C'mon chaps. A big hand for Jeremy Beadle . . .