Patient attacked by rat in hospital bed - Telegraph The rat seems a clear winner in this contest; if the hospital staff hadn't spoiled it by coming in on the belmer's side, I reckon that by the morning he'd just have been a gnawed-out husk. Given the strains on the NHS budget, it is increasingly unlikely that we'll long be able to sustain the mong population at its current levels. Mong against rat seems a promising start - what is needed now is a TV deal and a tie-in with William Hill. Can anyone suggest other novel and profitable contests in which various cripples, mongs, retards etc can be pitted against different animal species? I myself would particularly relish the opportunity to watch a dwarf fighting a honey badger.