Well imagine my joy when on arriving home I found that I had received some post from the MFPA (mouth and foot painting artists). I eagerly tore open the envelope to see what artistic extravaganza could be enclosed and was overjoyed to see that they had sent me a sample of their new range of Christmas cards showing reproductions of paintings by mouth and foot artists. On having a look through the offerings I was impressed by the standard of art then one thing dawned on me, not a single one of the paintings was of a mouth or indeed a foot. How fucking dare they!!! Quite frankly I'm outraged. How should I react to this blatant deception?