Mong nicked my paper

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Colonel_Foreskin-Crumb, Aug 18, 2008.

  1. yes - of course they are

    0 vote(s)
  2. no - just give them a baloon, ischreme and a colouring book and they stay quiet

    0 vote(s)

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  1. Just been out for a lunchtime pint (as you do) and I was sat at the bar reading the paper, half way through a bunch of mongs came in with their carers giving it mlaaarrr all over the place, one came up to the bar and stole my paper as i was reading it. stunned and shocked by the arrogance of this mongtard i told him to fcuk off. an explosion of mong carers suddenly descended on me and started giving ME sh1t!! after a bit of a heated conversation one of the carers said to me "they are here by the grace of god" to which my reply was "they are here for entertainment purposes" from that i got my coat, left the paper with the spacca and departed.

    Question is, has anyone suffered similar incidents with mongs and/or their carers?
  2. Used to go out with a Mong Carer, met her when she was out with some mates, she had a fairley good sense of did I until one day she borrowed my car and a mongoloid shat in the back was stinking for weeks...FFS
  3. I used to go out with a mong. Not that great in bed, but the conversation was thrilling.
  4. Well it would seem you've provided an excellent bit of afternoon entertainment for them! There's probably hand flapping and mobility scooters doing dougnuts that somebody fell for the 'pretend it's the pub paper and nick it off him' routine. Bet you left half a pint for them too!
  5. I go camping in cornwall every year, One of the highlights is "mmmm Boy" as he likes to say "mmmm" quite alot, In fact its all he knows. Last year I was quite happly "mmmm-ing" with him till his mother got a very large sad-on and accused me of taking the and It wasn't his fault he was born this way and that grown men like me should know better. I should, but it was funny as fcuk.
    Hopefully he'll be at the riverside this week, I'm looking forward to some olympic "mmmm-ing"
  6. My bold if thats the case then it shows god is a british soldier for providing our chromosone enhanced friends for normal peoples amusement :D
  7. I did have a run in with one at college. I was minding my own business when I suddenly felt a rather hard impact on my back (he must have caught me eyeing up his girlfriend - for I had recently heard a rumour that female mongs fvck like rabbits). I turn around to be confronted with the angriest of mllllarrs I've ever encountered. This one must have been particularly nasty as he normally had two minders. You can imagine the horrified look on there faces as they turn to find the college prop forward holding said mong by the throat with fist cocked and struggling with the moral dilemma of whether to flatten the rather large and snotty nose of Mr Angry M. Larr...

    Much to their relief, I relented and chose to fully exploit this public demonstration of benevolence and sensitivity with the large group of girlies at a nearby table.
  8. You don't live in Manchester, do you? It sounds very much like the advance party for Zanu NL's conference there next month.
  9. Why didn´t the carer slap the "news paper theif". If my child or dog did that, hell, if my wife did that, they´d get a slap and an apology given to the newspapers rightful reader.
  10. A mate of mine runs his own diving school and used to hire and ex-council swimming pool to run it out of. One of the conditions was that a "Speshul Skool" could use it twice a week. I worked for him on and off, helping out, doing a bit of instructing and such like. One of the jobs we used to have to do was act as Lifeguards when the Mlaaaaaaaaaaaaars came in for their sessions.

    The session used to go something like this: Big bus arrives with mong bunch onboard and a carer each. 20 minutes was then spent answering mong questions on "who is in charge" and "can you make sure the sharks are out" whilst the carers tried to get the said Mlarrrs into the changing room and changed into their swim kit. This part of the operation was akin to putting and octopus in a string bag.

    Next Mlaars would enter water. Now the carers had been cunning here and only taken a single sex group to each session else hell would have ensued and who knows what the outcome would have been nine months down the line.

    30 mins of trying to drown each other would ensue, to the point of the carers having a go to, which I'm sure the Scum would have been made up to find out about.

    It's at this point in the proceedings, on the last day I ever stood on that poolside, that things went horribly wrong. One particular Mlaar was hanging onto the ladder in the deep end, staring at the wall with an intent look of concentration on his face, I saw the rapid shaking movement of his right shoulder, caused by the aforementioned Mlarr choking his chicken in the pool. I swiftly told one of the carers who despatched himself quicker than a speeding bullet to the deep end, but too late, the Mlaar had finished and turned round to face his carer with a very contented look on his face, and little ropes of Mlaaaar juice floating gently down the pool.

    Needless to say, I seemd to find less and less time to help my mate out that summer, in fact I did not go near the pool again for about 6 months till he casually mentioned that he had emptied the pool to do some work on the pool floor.
  11. I would have expected you're paper to have been licked rather than nicked.
  12. A close relative of mine works for an organisation who ferry these window licking spaccas about. I tell you something, these suppossedly "caring" individuals have a darker sense of humour than we do. Most of the time these carers hunt down people like yourself who dare to stand thier ground to these fcuktards to throw the sent off themselves, so that they don't get found out for taking the urine. I seem to remember a group of politicians in the 80's who tried to ban S&M even though they where neck deep in a pile of rubber face masks and whips. Sounds like the same thing.

    Mind you, although most people would't want to live like these fcukers do not everyone has the patience to put up with the sh!t these mongs "apparently" don't know theyre doing.

    Here for entertainment.
  13. I know this is the naffi, but if I had seen you do that I would have cracked your fcuking skull you inconsiderate cnut!

  14. You don't happen to know the Ex-Mrs Sparky by any chance Arby?? :D

    A mate of mine married one FFS! I was away at the time and unable to attend the wedding (thankfully), register office and meal in family home etc.

    None of us can get our heads around this, but no one has taken the mick, well not to his face.

    Each to their own I suppose, but It's very awkward when you see them kissing I can tell you...
  15. fair point but if i were to go around acting like a mong it does have some great benefits, ishcream! ishcream!" there you go son, a free ice cream" to which i reply, "nice one cheers mate"