Money Saving Expert - NAFFI Style.

#1
I like to save money. I have swapped normal cigs for electric cigs and that saves me about £190 per month. I dropped my cat off in the woods, that's another £15.
I use free porn sites, haggle with the milkman, steal bog roll from work, forget everyones birthday by accident and I'm still not rich.

How do you save money?
 
#2
Stealing bog roll from work is just plain wrong. Condition yourself to dump only in work time, and you get the double bonus of being paid to shit and free bog roll.
 
#6
You start a website called, for arguments sake 'Moneysaving4u.co.uk' that will provide the well mannered public of this green and pleasant land independent advice on how to save money in everyday life via articles and forums. You then pimp yourself out to the BBC in an orgy of self publicity over several years and then sell your site to a well known insurance/financial quotes company for many millions.
There, you'll never have to worry about saving money again.
Wish I'd thought of it first :(
 
#7
I stuck this in the NAFFI to allow everyone to chip in in their own way but I am gratefull for any serious ideas - Aldi and Lidl are good especially for fresh veg.

Sports direct is good for clothing and it is not all just tracksuits and umbro tshirts these days. I don't bother about branded clothing, that's for poofs.
 
#8
Stealing from your employer at every opportunity provides a regular income to boost your salary.

Even when you are convicted of fraud and subsequently incarcerated you still win due to the saving on your monthly utility bills.
 
#9
Wait for someone to post libelous comments about yourself on a website forum then sue the pants off them.
 
#10
Serious advice? Scrap looking on eBay. Shop on Amazon and keep a look out for used, or cheaper items listed under the main search results. They are usually well priced and there is no shill bidding or PayPal nonsense/charges to deal with.
 
#11
Free food, bin diving at the back of Tesco`s saves thousands a year , to avoid security use your smallest kids as they can get through the fence and away quicker and remember under 10`s cant be done for theft so train em up young , then shop in Harrods for free!!
Also save fuel by not going to work and draw dole .
 
#12
Save money on eating by being a necky bastard- if you live off ship why should you have to pay for food when those who live onboard get it for free? Go to the gally and act like you belong there. If you go in early and "work late" then you get 3 square meals a day for F.A!
 
#13
Would the rape van work out cheaper than paying for prostitutes these days, or is the price of fuel and road tax too high to make a decent saving?
 
#14
Save money on eating by being a necky bastard- if you live off ship why should you have to pay for food when those who live onboard get it for free? Go to the gally and act like you belong there. If you go in early and "work late" then you get 3 square meals a day for F.A!
Sounds great , I`m now civvy so I`d need an ebay MOD90 and some matelot kit , then down to Devonport.
 
#15
Free food, bin diving at the back of Tesco`s saves thousands a year , to avoid security use your smallest kids as they can get through the fence and away quicker and remember under 10`s cant be done for theft so train em up young , then shop in Harrods for free!!
Also save fuel by not going to work and draw dole .
So whereabouts in Liverpool is this branch of Harrod's then?
 
#16
Would the rape van work out cheaper than paying for prostitutes these days, or is the price of fuel and road tax too high to make a decent saving?
If you park it up on private ground near a busy shopping centre no need for tax , insurance and MOT , just put a sign on the roof saying "Free Nail Extensions" and they will be queuing up.
 
#18
Would the rape van work out cheaper than paying for prostitutes these days, or is the price of fuel and road tax too high to make a decent saving?
Remember that the rape van will typically have three front seats and plenty of space in the back, so share with mates to reduce the cost per person!
 
#19
CaptDanjou said:
Sounds great , I`m now civvy so I`d need an ebay MOD90 and some matelot kit , then down to Devonport.
Many times in Pompey the civies on the gate couldn't be bothered to come out of their hut at night and would wave you through after showing what ever was in your pocket- most the time this was a paradigm or bank card!
 
#20
Shoplifting, I find Waitrose to have the shittiest security, I wait around the entrance for the local smack rats to go in on their daily rob and follow shortly after; they provide an obvious but effective diversion! ;)
 

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