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Money - Family

This is nothing more than sheer nosiness because I'm idle with the lockdown. Triggered by a couple of comments in a different thread which set me thinking.

I know in yea olde days some husbands would get their weekly pay packet and give 'the wife' some house keeping, otherwise she never knew what he earned. Some husbands had to give the pay packet to said wife unopened and he got his weekly pocket money. I've never done either, the money went into the joint bank account and in my early years there was never anything 'spare' to squirrel away. Fast forward to second wife and carried on the same, her money also went into the joint account but we had a saving account which had money put in every month. We have a couple of ISAs but everything goes into the main bank account, there is no money in little hidey holes anywhere.
We have friends and relies who mainly work the same way but I do know couples where both are working and they have individual accounts with a joint account they pay into for mortgage, energy bills, council tax etc. Then the rest of the money in their account is theirs, sometimes one will buy the shopping or treat them both to a meal etc.

I just wondered what the general consensus of opinion on arrse was. Is your money yours or is it 'the teams'?
 
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I work full time, SWMBO works 16hrs a week. We have a separate bank account each and there is a "bills" bank account. I pay money into the bills account every week to cover rent, and other bills. I also pay an amount each week into the bills account for housekeeping. Anything after that I use to cover my expenses. Any meals out are paid for by me, any trips our are paid for by me, any takeaways are paid for by me.

SWMBO has requested a joint bank account many times but I have told her no I prefer to keep things separate.
 
This is nothing more than sheer noisiness because I'm idle with the lockdown. Triggered by a couple of comments in a different thread which set me thinking.

I know in yea olde days some husbands would get their weekly pay packet and give 'the wife' some house keeping, otherwise she never knew what he earned. Some husbands had to give the pay packet to said wife unopened and he got his weekly pocket money. I've never done either, the money went into the joint bank account and in my early years there was never anything 'spare' to squirrel away. Fast forward to second wife and carried on the same, her money also went into the joint account but we had a saving account which had money put in every month. We have a couple of ISAs but everything goes into the main bank account, there is no money in little hidey holes anywhere.
We have friends and relies who mainly work the same way but I do know couples where both are working and they have individual accounts with a joint account they pay into for mortgage, energy bills, council tax etc. Then the rest of the money in their account is theirs, sometimes one will buy the shopping or treat them both to a meal etc.

I just wondered what the general consensus of opinion on arrse was. Is your money yours or is it 'the teams'?

We have been married 42 years, the first few in the mob, and we always had separate accounts. On discharge, back in the UK, the wife was now a stay at home mother, and my earnings paid for everything, her housekeeping, rent, utility bills.No spare cash. no holidays, no nights out, nothing. As the years rolled by, earnings up, and she had a massive stroke. now she gets disability money. now both retired.all kids gone, house paid. We still have separate accounts, and several building society accounts. I still pay all the bills, and now the shopping bills. Her disability money is hers to spend on whatever.

Even thought we have separate accounts, she wanted new patio doors, she paid, i wanted new bay windows, i paid, she wanted a new marble worktop, she paid, all the garden is my responsibility, but she bought the big pots for her bushes, and strawberry plants. In the house the new light fittings i paid for, and fitted, she wanted vertical blinds, she paid. The car which was 14 years old needed replacing, we both paid. As you can see its a joint venture. 50-50. Its also a trust thing. I trust her she doesn't trust me,............. standard female practice.

Joint accounts can cause friction, as our oldest daughter found out when her arseh0le husband done the dirty on her, trying to access the cash was a nightmare. now divorced. Separate accounts are the easiest to service and maintain, you have absolute control, and providing you play fair with the household bills, and have absolute and total integrity with your other half, it works. It has for us. END
 
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We've got a bullet-proof system of both personal privacy & shared liability set up...and have done for decades.
Only 2 joint accounts and the same ones we've had for 44 years or so to service monthly bills.

Neither of us touch it apart from a 50/50 SO'd cash insert every month to an amount 10% above the total DD & SO debit totals. Once it accumulates to around 3 times the monthly service bill totals every couple of years it gets reduced and the excess over the 3 month buffer goes into a joint savings account. I just do it with internet banking but we also both have one-name savings accounts over and above our respective pension recipient accounts. I could not say how much SWMBO has salted away I could not care less.
We don't think about bills, and apart from renewals & meter readings etc, we are 100% paperless so virtually nothing drops through the letter-box bar junk food flyers.
Our respective pensions get paid into sole owner debit accounts. Simply means neither of us is accountable to the other for whatever we want to spend our pensions on...or as it was our salaries. Peace perfect peace, no reason for even a discussion like "why did you buy that?" I mind my "business", she minds hers.
It all may sound complex but it's not, and it gives us both security & privacy.

Any big purchases, like a freezer we are getting delivered, comes out the "excess savings account" so again no issue with who is taking the hit. Certainly, our son says if he ever gets hitched, that's the simple & transparent model he will adopt..if...the spouse salary is sufficient to work it. We & he have seen so much domestic strife over the years regarding money with family & friends. Often times it was caused by never-never spending on credit buying stuff that really was feel-good purchases and Keeping up Appearances but that's another subject. SWMBO could easily cash-buy a new Mx5 next week and not even blink financially but wont part with her 16 years old one.....it's in perfect nick, does the job, she loves it and that's that. Typical Highlander!

It all depends really on salary levels and who is the principal earner, and how the household is run. My father was only ever the sole earner, and not at all good with money. He'd think nothing of leaving a few quid on a patient's kitchen table and often there was not much left for Mater to shop for us. It caused a lot of heat which percolated down to us kids. In my teenage years I took that with me for life. Not for me thanks.
 
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ches

LE
Never done solely joint account. Separate accounts paying regular SOs into a joint acc for bills & housekeeping. Mainly managed by the missus but its all even stevens. Did the same with Wife Nr1. The divvying up of the assets at the divorce made it piece of piss thankfully. We both keep tabs on my pers account with a monthly conflab as I'm the main wage earner. All works fine although my current want of a nice new air rifle for shits & giggles is hitting the blocks!
 
D

Deleted 164106

Guest
Me and the missus have separate accounts. Not married (yet, thanks to COVID19) but I pay the mortgage and bills (I own the house) - but they all get divided 50:50 and settled at the end of the month.

We use an app called splitwise; everything we buy for 'us' goes on there and it automatically tracks who owes what.
 
Me and my Mrs both have separate accounts that our salaries and my pension gets paid into.

We both then pay money into a joint account for mortgage and other household bills, and a joint savings account, that we both pay a set amount into each month.

The main reason for this is I am still paying Child Maintenance, and I wouldn't feel right if it came out of a joint account.

She earns a bit more than me, but my pension tops me up. What i have left in mine is mine, and what she has left is hers. We go halves on everything, and it works for us. Might not work for everyone, but it suits us.
 
Don't do joint accounts. Big purchases are 50/50 (holidays, expensive electrical/ white goods etc). We spend our wages as we please so long as the bills are paid.
 

Kirkz

LE
When I was married we had a joint account into which both wages were paid and anything other than the bills was discussed before the money was spent. We also had a joint account at a different bank into which the child benefit and working families tax credits were paid and this covered anything that was needed for the kids. worked for us and the ex being an accountant she was great at keeping on top of the finances and always rounded up rather than down which meant there was usually a bit spare if there was an emergency.
Now divorced and living here with just the youngest son for company I only have my wages and a bit of rent the lad pays me, I do have an ISA which I pay some cash into on a monthly basis, it's a long term savings plan over 10 years.
 
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Tiger-Monkey2

War Hero
Never, never, ever share a bank account with anyone. I did that when I was married. She left me with 1 DM in the account and all the bills.
 
We have a joint everything, but I also have a very particular set of skills,, skills I have acquired over a very long career.

And a patio.
 
The closest I ever got to any "joint banking," were "student" accounts I set up for my children, with fairly strict limits.

Never had a joint account of any type with wives or girlfriends.

I don't even put employees on my business accounts, other than the builder credit account established for the various maintenance departments of my property management company that, so far, only manages my properties, all of which are held by the "Investment Property" Family Trust I set up. Not going to find me personally shopping for light bulbs and faucet replacements at all hours in 5 different states...
 
The Mrs and I both earn about the same but my wage is also topped up by my pension. We both have our own normal accounts and savings accounts and a joint household account. We both pay in an agreed amount into the joint account. She paid the council tax out of her wage when she worked for he council and now does the same with the water now she works there.

Our accounts are ours to use as we wish. The joint account is for household stuff or whatever the nipper needs. We have both borrowed money from each other, or the joint account and paid it back as required, normally when paying back car loans early. Nights out come from the joint account, holidays we pay extra into and pay from he joint account.

Years ago, when the Mrs first started work she wasn’t well paid. We both had I think Halifax accounts and a joint Halifax account. With these accounts, if you had a certain amount come in each month you got a higher rate of interest, or a lump sum, I can’t remember. Anyway, she didn’t earn quite the required amount. I transferred £200 each month to her account and lowered the amount I paid into the joint account by the same. She then transferred her joint account sum plus my £200. She then got the extra interest or whatever because we had the bank doing work. Money for nothing.

We haven’t paid for things 50/50, but as a ratio on earnings.

This has worked for us for 20 years.

RP
 
Wife and I have personal accounts, wages paid in, and a joint account where we pay a set amount in each to pay bills and act as savings.

Gadgets and eBay/Amazon comes from personal accounts holidays and shared treats comes from accrued joint account.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
We are having a joint account in my name, got it!!

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ABNredleg

War Hero
We have joint checking and savings, and both paychecks go into it. Retirement accounts are separate but taxable investment accounts are joint.
 
My son actually said many years ago , that it didn't seem fair that I put all MY money into a joint account, which was much more than Dorisearned and was was putting into our joint account
put him straight by saying I put 100% in and she puts 100% in

seems to have worked for us .... but you really have to trust your partner/spouse 100% as well

Retired, nice house in nice area, more money in the bank than we ever thought we'd have,

Saying that, couple of years ago we discovered that there was an extra twenty K that we'd" misplaced" in premium bonds, and never noticed,( She had 50k in her account we thought it was only 30K) only to discover this year, when I went to load another 7K into my bonds , there was actually 30K in mine as well...careless or what?
 
All I would say is if your system works for you then it is right. I earn the bulk of the income so the joint account it goes into pays the bills etc. SWMBO’s wages goes to holidays and luxuries and I spend a bit each month on myself, the odd bottle of hooch and model railway supplies etc. Mrs D manages the credit card and we occasionally buy things for each other. It works for us.
 

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