Monday morning at dark o'clock...

#1
Sounds like a song title.

But it's not. Mrs B gives me a jab in the ribs to complain that "your phone has been rattling constantly"

Sure enough bunch of emails, messages and a couple if missed calls from my oppo in Singapore.

Hmm yes he is a total prat but this does not bode well. Only one thing to be done: turn the fcuker off. Zzzzzz.

06.00 I decide to rejoin the world and discover it's just as well we don't operate nuclear reactors.

Our Indian "Development Centre" ran a "minor update" over the weekend for a number of our major clients. Fair to say it has gone somewhat less than well.

In fact terrible. Slowed everything down to about 20% of previous capacity.
Easy: roll it back!

Ooooo we can't without taking those clients down and up again: about 90 minutes downtime. So somebody had decided that best thing to do was, obviously, say absolutely nothing to anyone, let clients limp along at 20% all day and hope for the best whilst our service centre call and live chat help volume exploded and they had nothing to say.

And that was before Europe woke up.

Thus I am on a commuter train to London on a Monday morning and it sucks.
 
#3
Sounds like a song title.

But it's not. Mrs B gives me a jab in the ribs to complain that "your phone has been rattling constantly"

Sure enough bunch of emails, messages and a couple if missed calls from my oppo in Singapore.

Hmm yes he is a total prat but this does not bode well. Only one thing to be done: turn the fcuker off. Zzzzzz.

06.00 I decide to rejoin the world and discover it's just as well we don't operate nuclear reactors.

Our Indian "Development Centre" ran a "minor update" over the weekend for a number of our major clients. Fair to say it has gone somewhat less than well.

In fact terrible. Slowed everything down to about 20% of previous capacity.
Easy: roll it back!

Ooooo we can't without taking those clients down and up again: about 90 minutes downtime. So somebody had decided that best thing to do was, obviously, say absolutely nothing to anyone, let clients limp along at 20% all day and hope for the best whilst our service centre call and live chat help volume exploded and they had nothing to say.

And that was before Europe woke up.

Thus I am on a commuter train to London on a Monday morning and it sucks.
Apart from all of that, a good start to the week?
 
#4
#5
Sounds like a song title.

But it's not. Mrs B gives me a jab in the ribs to complain that "your phone has been rattling constantly"

Sure enough bunch of emails, messages and a couple if missed calls from my oppo in Singapore.

Hmm yes he is a total prat but this does not bode well. Only one thing to be done: turn the fcuker off. Zzzzzz.

06.00 I decide to rejoin the world and discover it's just as well we don't operate nuclear reactors.

Our Indian "Development Centre" ran a "minor update" over the weekend for a number of our major clients. Fair to say it has gone somewhat less than well.

In fact terrible. Slowed everything down to about 20% of previous capacity.
Easy: roll it back!

Ooooo we can't without taking those clients down and up again: about 90 minutes downtime. So somebody had decided that best thing to do was, obviously, say absolutely nothing to anyone, let clients limp along at 20% all day and hope for the best whilst our service centre call and live chat help volume exploded and they had nothing to say.

And that was before Europe woke up.

Thus I am on a commuter train to London on a Monday morning and it sucks.
Excellent. I do love an outsourcing horror story.

:cheers:
 
#6
Taking an enforced health break at the moment (just short of two months) I am enjoying not 'living on the phone', knowing that if there was a call at night, there was a crisis. I'm slowly dropping the habit of having the phone on at night and constantly having it with me during the day. Days can pass without calls and emails...bliss!
 
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#7
Indian software development, with the motto "All Codes, Much Quickness, Plenty Cheapness"

Glad I don't have to deal with that anymore
 
#8
Sounds like a song title.

But it's not. Mrs B gives me a jab in the ribs to complain that "your phone has been rattling constantly"

Sure enough bunch of emails, messages and a couple if missed calls from my oppo in Singapore.

Hmm yes he is a total prat but this does not bode well. Only one thing to be done: turn the fcuker off. Zzzzzz.

06.00 I decide to rejoin the world and discover it's just as well we don't operate nuclear reactors.

Our Indian "Development Centre" ran a "minor update" over the weekend for a number of our major clients. Fair to say it has gone somewhat less than well.

In fact terrible. Slowed everything down to about 20% of previous capacity.
Easy: roll it back!

Ooooo we can't without taking those clients down and up again: about 90 minutes downtime. So somebody had decided that best thing to do was, obviously, say absolutely nothing to anyone, let clients limp along at 20% all day and hope for the best whilst our service centre call and live chat help volume exploded and they had nothing to say.

And that was before Europe woke up.

Thus I am on a commuter train to London on a Monday morning and it sucks.
"Bloke Does Some Work" shocker.
 
#9
Had a switch go pop in a remote office...Engineer dispatched to fix and replace. Still got calls coming from the office telling me they have no IT services, this is despite the fact I told them it was screwed first thing and what would need to be done.
 
#11
Excellent. I do love an outsourcing horror story.

:cheers:
We should have a dedicated to outsourcing horror stories. Why don't you start one? I've never had to deal with them much apart from the usual phone/IT tech support. One of the hardest ones for me to process was actually this lady from our tech support center based in Scotland. Bloody hell, took me a hell of a long time to figure out what the hell she was saying - might have been from Glasgow.
 
#12
@Blogg - It's your firm's fault they've naffed it all up because you believed the Indians when they said they were qualified.

A qualified Indian tends to be one who has bought, rather than studied for, his or her qualification and is generally incapable of making a brew, let alone anything slightly technical. As @earth will confirm...
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Sounds like a song title.

But it's not. Mrs B gives me a jab in the ribs to complain that "your phone has been rattling constantly"

Sure enough bunch of emails, messages and a couple if missed calls from my oppo in Singapore.

Hmm yes he is a total prat but this does not bode well. Only one thing to be done: turn the fcuker off. Zzzzzz.

06.00 I decide to rejoin the world and discover it's just as well we don't operate nuclear reactors.

Our Indian "Development Centre" ran a "minor update" over the weekend for a number of our major clients. Fair to say it has gone somewhat less than well.

In fact terrible. Slowed everything down to about 20% of previous capacity.
Easy: roll it back!

Ooooo we can't without taking those clients down and up again: about 90 minutes downtime. So somebody had decided that best thing to do was, obviously, say absolutely nothing to anyone, let clients limp along at 20% all day and hope for the best whilst our service centre call and live chat help volume exploded and they had nothing to say.

And that was before Europe woke up.

Thus I am on a commuter train to London on a Monday morning and it sucks.
Calling @earth , calling @earth , and any other available Dalits , spillage in aisle 5, 6 and 7.
 
#16
"Bloke Does Some Work" shocker.
Not quite. It's:

"Bloke scheduled for travel to client meetings in Reading and then Bristol has to unwrap all that at zero notice and gets dragged to pointless shitshow meeting with panic striken senior eejits in London"

Yes, those would be the same eejits who endorsed the offshoring when everybody who knows what is actually involved said:

"FFS don't do it!"

When I left to resume the day job every single Service Level Agreement metric for 17 major clients had been blown.

The "Offshoring Champion" (yes really) was in full bullshit mode as usual but looked like he wanted to throw up. His minions very conspicuously said absolutely nothing.
 
#17
Sounds like a song title.

But it's not. Mrs B gives me a jab in the ribs to complain that "your phone has been rattling constantly"

Sure enough bunch of emails, messages and a couple if missed calls from my oppo in Singapore.

Hmm yes he is a total prat but this does not bode well. Only one thing to be done: turn the fcuker off. Zzzzzz.

06.00 I decide to rejoin the world and discover it's just as well we don't operate nuclear reactors.

Our Indian "Development Centre" ran a "minor update" over the weekend for a number of our major clients. Fair to say it has gone somewhat less than well.

In fact terrible. Slowed everything down to about 20% of previous capacity.
Easy: roll it back!

Ooooo we can't without taking those clients down and up again: about 90 minutes downtime. So somebody had decided that best thing to do was, obviously, say absolutely nothing to anyone, let clients limp along at 20% all day and hope for the best whilst our service centre call and live chat help volume exploded and they had nothing to say.

And that was before Europe woke up.

Thus I am on a commuter train to London on a Monday morning and it sucks.
The only thing more boring than your job is reading about your job.

Please, do us all a favour next time, and just not bother okay?
 
#18
Not quite. It's:

"Bloke scheduled for travel to client meetings in Reading and then Bristol has to unwrap all that at zero notice and gets dragged to pointless shitshow meeting with panic striken senior eejits in London"

Yes, those would be the same eejits who endorsed the offshoring when everybody who knows what is actually involved said:

"FFS don't do it!"

When I left to resume the day job every single Service Level Agreement metric for 17 major clients had been blown.

The "Offshoring Champion" (yes really) was in full bullshit mode as usual but looked like he wanted to throw up. His minions very conspicuously said absolutely nothing.
Please, just stop.
 
#19
Not quite. It's:

"Bloke scheduled for travel to client meetings in Reading and then Bristol has to unwrap all that at zero notice and gets dragged to pointless shitshow meeting with panic striken senior eejits in London"

Yes, those would be the same eejits who endorsed the offshoring when everybody who knows what is actually involved said:

"FFS don't do it!"

When I left to resume the day job every single Service Level Agreement metric for 17 major clients had been blown.

The "Offshoring Champion" (yes really) was in full bullshit mode as usual but looked like he wanted to throw up. His minions very conspicuously said absolutely nothing.
Stop off for a hand job, I mean a massage in a parlour while in London and the whole day ain’t down the sh!tter
 

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