MOD plc - Marketing Ideas Needed

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Hootch, Aug 14, 2005.

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    I think this stinks. I am hearing increasingly that bean counters in the MOD are charging 'paying customers' for the use of MOD facilities. Hearing the phrase 'business case' too much.

    Bad enough that training areas can not be used because civies have booked them but I am uncomfortable with the principle that public organisations, funded by the taxpayer, are in direct competion with companies in the private sector.

    What next - punters to pay a fee to attend courts martials ? Pay a bit extra and we'll happily find the poor sod quilty?

    Perhaps we could modify some Challies for 'Gold Pass' holders and they could spend a weekend in Basrah - for a bit extra even get to slot one of the locals ( paying customers being exempt from War Crimes charges).

    Any other ideas?
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Why don't we use our soldiers as firemen to give the Trumpton lot some more time off?

    They could also fill in a binmen to help keep the streets clean.

    The government says there is no overstretch so there must be lots of soldiers hanging around doing nothing while being paid by the taxpayer.

    And did I not read recently on ARRSE that RMP are to patrol street in certain towns?

    8O :x :twisted:
  3. £2000 to meet her how much for a shag just to say you've been there.

    The MOD are already whoring the forces out so why not the queen as well
  4. How about bailing out US companies who indulge in union-busting tactics - by donning aprons and serving up slop to British Airways' passengers?
  7. If marketing ideas are needed for the MOD, look no further than the US model. The CEO of Halliburton is often seen to revisit his childhood by opening a large box of toy soldiers he has in his possession - they're very often used to further his company's corporate aims - and they're called the US Marines.
  8. Stoatman

    Your reply deleted , it's not the Naafi Bar.

  9. The MOD sell spare places on training courses to overseas military - thats everything from Sandhurst to NBC courses -
  10. Its ironic i suppose that the link for CIS courses from that page ends in a 404 error. That'll impress any potential students for an IS course.

    I was told recently that we cant lend tentage to the local community anymore, they have to pay a rental charge.

  11. Income Generation has been a fact of life for a while now. There is no training activity or resource that it not available for the right amount of dosh. The only limiting factor seems to be profitability. Private functions are a regular event in my mess, with the attendant disruptions for the lifes of nonweekending vittlies.
  12. Perhaps the MOD isn't as backwards in marketing as we fear...they seem to have mastered the BOGOF (Buy-one, Get-one-free)...for example buy a war in Afghanistan, get one in Iraq free?

    Hmmm...a bit contrived, I'll get my for Cuddles
  13. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    Was it something along the the lines of:

    " i Know you are a Man of Kent frenchperson but don't be more Kentish than you have to be......" ;-)
  14. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    So what ? We've been doing it since David Niven's time at RMAS. Tanks to the Shah ( the Yanks sold him F-14's and Chinooks) , ships to the Argentinians, Hawks to Indonesia.

    Nothing new about charging overseas armies,navies and air forces for UK training. Used to be a VERY attractive part of any sales package involving British kit...'cos Johnny Foreigner has a touchingly high regard for British training standards....

    The French on the other hand rely on urbanely supplying the decision makers with whatever they feel in need of...whether that be brown envelopes, ladies of negotiable affection, small boys,Peruvian marching powder or any combination of these in any order.

    The Cousins subsidise their overseas sales with a thing called FMS credits. The Russians used to give kit away (but started charging in the 90's) , the Chinese will sell anything to anyone, as will Israel.

    A moral arms policy is like being "slightly dead" or " a little bit pregnant ".....bit of a contradiction in terms really....

    Le Chevre