Mobility Scooters, menace or not?

#1
So have any arrsers had any bad dealings with an idiot on a mobility scooter? I cant say that i have any myself but it seems those that commented on this story think that the spackers and fat idle cunts should be licensed and insured to drive the things around this fair country of ours? I do believe that they are today's 'fad' especially for fat idle twats that cant be arsed to walk anywhere but have never had any bad incidents with one myself.

Girl, 9, suffers horrific leg break after out-of-control mobility scooter smashes into her at shop checkout | Mail Online
 
#2
While in the UK in Oct/Nov I wondered at the number of Mob scooters whizzing around down precincts, out of shops and around corners with no regard for pedestrians.
Those using them look as if a bit of a good walk now and again would cure most of their 'disabilities'.
Getting worse here in NZ, but at least they're driven by OAPs, not just fat lazy cnuts puffing on a tab as they mow their way through life.
 
#4
I'm pretty well housebound at the moment thanks to a, uhm, old war wound (honest guv) and would love one of those for a few hours a week. Our town is crawling with overweight, puffy legged, diabetes bound, high blood pressure suffering, chain smoking barrage balloons and they are as arrogant as cyclists or runners. Rant over.
 
#5
They are a feckin' dangerous nuisance & the vast majority of the users are lard arsed lazy bastards who don't need them. At the very least it should be compulsory that they have insurance.

This'll be the craze next;

QTvan1_1.jpg
 
#6
My mother in law needs one for walking more than a few hundred yards (she's not the standard issue fat mess you usually see with them, she needs it due to fucked hips, knees and heart).

One of the funniest things in life is to wait till you see one that's been left outside a shop while the owner's inside and turn the speed setting up as high as it will go (it's only a little dial somewhere around the handlebars) then watching the unsuspecting raspberry take off at Mach 2 when they get back on.
 
#7
Had to pull a shoplifter in one of these contraptions once; helps to know where the kill-switch is located to avoid a broken leg.
 
#11
They're great for ensuring elderly and disabled folk have some sort of independence. Fortunately, the people with a genuine need for them tend to be quite decent in the way they drive them.

What winds me up no end are the fat, unhealthy fucks who use them for their daily trip to the local shop to spunk their welfare money on lottery tickets, tabloid newspapers and cigs. They drive at full pelt (which is actually a pretty decent speed - probably equivalent to a fast jog) and move over for no cunt.

Combat indicators are:

- Fat
- In their 50's
- Miserable expressions
- Husband and wife teams (chances of a husband and wife with a decent lifestyle both needing one before old age?)
 
#12
I am anticipating needing one of these in the next say 30 years - I reckon a racing model in British Racing Green, go faster stripes and fluffy dice. I will drive it down to the Post Office to collect me pension and run over the dole bludgers whilst setting about left and right with my umbrella at the feckless, scroungers, hoodies and other mal-contents whilst shouting in a very loud voice - 'Wait your turn - I served my country!'. Also I think I will have a 9 millie under the leg in case of aggro from the same.
 
#13
Anyone who can't pass a PFT should be euthanised, then we wouldn't have any problems like this.
 
#15
[video=youtube;efyrzAewjz8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efyrzAewjz8[/video]
 
#16
Well that's half the AGC & most of the RLC sorted then, wouldn't be any need for further cutbacks.
And then as Soldiers would not be fed or paid (meaning they couldn't buy food) the end result would be slimmer Troops and less expense.

You're on to a winner here, wish I'd thought of it because I've always wanted an OBE.
 
#18
Fuckin awesome things. I used to overclock my PC, and mod my beemer to get more performance from them. I cant wait to get my hands on one of these. Replace the batteries with lithium cells, install a battery pre-heater, remove the electronic limiter, slimline tyres, carbon fibre fairings, increase the windings on the transformer, etc.

OAPs on them are hysterical. Back in 2007 or 2008 a couple of SOAPies tried to ram-raid the Magistrates court on their mobility scooters. Two fat, crusty senile coffin dodgers, incoherently shouting at invisible assailants, repeatedly battering the court doors on their spaz-mobiles, threatening death and destruction at 7mph to anyone who was foolish enough to fall over laughing outside.

The courts made a 999 call - they are still waiting a response, despite the Police station being adjacent, as most of plod were pissing themselves at the windows. Spectator sport...
 
#19
there was a fat lad (probably about 19) in front of me getting the shopping with his mum this wk on one of these beasts, i noticed it was one the shop provided and after gliding back to the front door he hopped off and shuffled away without the aid of a crutch or walking stick. he did appear to have a serious case of shuffling-about-like-a-dick-itis but this was maryhill so its what you expect when the his mother was probably pissed and chainsmoking through pregnancy and neither of them would be able to identify a single item of fruit and veg unless it was deep fried and battered.
 
#20
Now there's a thought.

For those of you old enough to remember the Mong Baiting thread; Mongs vs Mobility Mounted Moaners the modern day infantry vs cavalry encounters of yesteryear. Solves the problem of what do we do with the social unproductive and the socially burdensome; entertainment for the masses.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
heard_it_all_before The NAAFI Bar 109
superjb The NAAFI Bar 27
R The NAAFI Bar 6

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top