Missuss Birthday

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Praetorian, Aug 19, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Its her indoor's Birthday tomorrow, and Im stuck at what to put in the card.....

    Any suggestions? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

    (Oh, and before anyone asks, its not Maddy, I dumped her. By dumped, I of course mean buried)
  2. You thought that Id forgotten
    Today is your birthday
    But you were wrong
    I'm not a mong
    So get yer kit off and I'll give you one.
  3. Assuming she showers... :wink:

    I like to hang a little trinket in there... Then go to work pretending you forgot about her b'day... You reap the rewards later... :twisted:
  4. Happy 10th Birthday, darling
  5. Anthrax and a razor blade?

    Divorce papers?

    A photo of you hanging out of a 17 year old rent boy?

    Edited to add;

    Nice one Slimey. I nearly missed that one. :D
  6. My sister gave the missus a penis enlargement kit wrapped up in a 'What Every Woman Wants' bag.

    I haven't spoken to her since.
  7. does she know any of your ex's?

    put one of their names in it, with something like 'with love, forever'

    thatl feck her right up. watch her destroy herself with paranoia
  8. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Be honest....

    "Spread 'em bitch!!"

    Failing that,What Flashy said.
  9. just send her address and i will see her infact i will do her:
  10. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I'm good at rhyming
    I'm gonna f?ck you
  11. happy birthday and well done on your SAT's??
  12. Excellent.

    How about a book on 'Paper Folding'?
  13. spunk......knock one out, aim at the card, close it, let it dry then tell her theres fifty quid inside and amuse yourself for hours watching her trying to prize the fecker open!!!
  14. Smooth b'stard.

    I'm stealing that. :twisted:
  15. Happy Birthday to You
    I'm cheating on you
    I have been since Christmas
    Those rumours are true

    Your friends warned you of me
    I'm afraid they are all right
    Six men from the leather bar
    have been making me airtight

    Happy Birthday to you
    I like men too
    Sadly your infected
    I've been gulping bad glue