Miracle of the modern engine

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by crabby, Feb 3, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Disclaimer - This is not overly interesting.

    My car passed it's MOT today, only needing new rubber on the brake pedal (pedants - the previous rubber was slightly worn on one side), but what made me really impressed were the results of the emissions test:

    Fast Idle Test:
    CO - 0.004% (maximum allowed: 0.2% - so that's 1/50th of emissions allowed)
    HC - 0ppm (200ppm allowed)
    Lambda 1.000 (allowed is 0.970 - 1.030)

    Natural Idle Test:
    CO - 0% (0.3% allowed)

    Therefore I deduce that my car is almost perfect. Fine, if it was something new, shiny and had the word "eco" tagged on the back. It's not. It's over 9 years old, it's done 88k and that just impresses the fcuk out of me - that a car this age is so clean burning, has not lost/burnt ANY oil, rusted, failed to start, broken down etc.

    Used to have a 1989 Metro 1.3... after 7 years that thing could create it's own smokescreen - the bonnet, engine and all engine components were the only thing not rust, because they'd been liberally coated in oil and by the end it wouldn't start if the day's name ended in "y". That's a long way to come in 10 years.

    Oh, yes I am a sad individual - James May is my role model, but at least he's interesting. Stupid fcuking hair though...

  2. Well let's face it Crabby
    Anything later than a 1989 metro is bound to seem impressive to you :lol:

    ps did you actually keep a metro for seven years? ffs you deserved all the bad luck :D
  3. Of course he kept it for 7 years, it's not as if he would be able to sell it, or even better have it stolen.

    After 7 years it must have dissolved in the UK acid rain.
  4. And yet you still fail to tell us the make and model of your current motah. I thought you were catering for the pedants?
  5. I cant be the only one who is interested in what it is you drive, can I? Perhaps I can, what is it?
  6. He done a trade in....got a good deal on a Allegro
  7. this was his 'new' skoda with its roof down being delivered after trading in the metro

  8. I have a 99 Honda Accord. Another car that did me sterling service was a 98 Civic 1.4 (145k - seen recently in local car park at 175k).

    Shyte cars I have been unfortunate enough to drive (mostly my parents') include:

    1. That metro. I was lucky, it was never in my name. I think it actually went to 1998 in the end, so 9 years. Only 50k, but awful. Chassis, sills, rear arches, front cross member and rear cross member (I think) all rusted. The engine electrics were turned into a nice mouse nest. It also had a habit of shedding the exhaust on a roundabout.

    2. Ford Ka - My parents got this very cheap to replace the metro - woeful reliability, wheezy engine, steel so thick it would dent if you stared hard enough and looked pretty crap too.

    3. Mercedes E class - 97/98. One of the newer shape ones. New gearbox at 18,000 miles. New alternator at 50k. Locks and alarm were always dodgy. Sold at 120k, by which time mechanically it was the best it had been - shame about the rust around the bootlid and rear arches. That was 5 years old. Merc build quality was shyte. Also got very tail happy at roundabouts...
  9. I don't really think you are going to impress James May with that selection of debris, still I agree about the hair and his war-on- want style of dress