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Mind your package when sleeping


Mark The Convict

'A paralyzed man woke up to find his dog eating one of his testicles'

He'd hardly expect it to be eating one of someone else's.


I reckon he was just doing what most of us have done at some point and fell asleep mid-wank after a night on the lash.

Only in his case it was a little more elaborate, involving meat paste on the genitals and a small and (what was perceived as) relatively harmless pooch.

Either way, it tops my last effort when I got in from a top table lunch once approaching midnight, and my missus found me downstairs on her way to work the following morning, sat bolt upright on the sofa with my placid member in my hand. All I remember her saying was "I heard you come in last night and did wonder why you didn't come to bed..."

Just glad my tv turns itself off after a while otherwise she'd have also noticed the blue screen with "subscribe to this channel now" message, long after the ten minute freebies had aired.

Either way, tiredness+alcohol+masturbation = not a very good idea.

Throw in a pet and you're asking for trouble.
I'm glad that picture was posed by a model, but Imagine the awards that reporter would be up for if he'd got the actual bollock scoffing pooch to prance around in the garden, looking all chuffed to fuck, covered in blood and with a half scoffed love spud hanging from his dripping maw.......

He'd have to get some kind of prize for services to photography or something.
It would be on a par with my favourite photo of all time......this


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