Military Silliness

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Twattipus, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. An ex naval bloke I know told me that on Naval bases, if you walked on the grass and were seen, someone would shout "Man Overboard!" and you had to stand still and wait for the guard to arrive with a life belt on a rope which they would use to pull you in and escort you to the Base WO for a bollocking.

    Seems somewhat far-fetched to me, but anyone know if this is true?

    Also, anyone got any other tales of military silliness?
  2. According to my sources they do/did it HMS Yeovilton.
  3. Cheers. Seems long-winded. All you need is a hearty, "GETOFFTHEFUCKINGGRASSYOUMONG!" bellowed by an irritated stickman for the same effect.
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  4. Does silliness include soldiers being ordered to paint paving slabs green one day, white the next? If so, I saw some paper-shuffling AGC types doing that at Worthy Down when I was there for a week.

    They didn't like being laughed at.
  5. In the REME workshop in NI there was a particularly ginger lad. Every time he ventured out onto the shop floor someone blew a fox hunter's horn. You had to stop whatever you were doing, down tools, and run after him. He would leg it through the maze of corridors with about 20 blokes chasing him.
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  6. What happened when you caught him? Did he have good reason to run? A kicking or did he end up with an arsehole as red as his hair?
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  7. On a Royal visit to SEME Bordon back in the late 80's after the normal, sweep the world, de-weeding everything and picking out the moss between cobble stones a company were brought in to dye the grass green.
  8. spending hours pulling weeds around the tpt sqn yard only to have a spraying contractor turn up just as we finish. cunts....
  9. 1950's Catterick. Opposite where the White Shops are/were there was a railway siding and a coal yard, when I was at 2TR we were tasked to spray the coal heaps with white wash because blokes were stealing the coal to heat their billets.
  10. Certainly happened at Daedalus, plus you had to wait at the gate for the liberty boat before heading into town (sorry, 'go ashore') on the lash. OTOH, they did a damned good line in WRNS, and Brufen.
  11. There used to be an RSM called 'Keep off the grass' Greene. If he caught you walking on the grass he would ask you how many paces you had taken onto the grass. He would give you extras for the number of steps you'd taken and then double the number because you had to come back.
  12. Only time I had to wait for a liberty boat was in training- as a trained rating I've never had to do it. Never heard about the walking on the grass thing either, but then there's not much grass in a dockyard.
  13. Getting a helicopter to hover over the trees to blow the loose leaves off a couple of days prior to a HRH visit, followed by the whole regiment out on leaf picking up duties.

    Still I suppose it is better than painting the grass green.
  14. Pulling up weeds just after the local German contractor had just sprayed them with weed killer :)

    Having working weekends where lads were dicked to paint borders around buildings and squares around flagpoles for an equipment care inspection :)

    Sweeping the hard standing in Al Amarah

    Trying to ban drinking in the block

    Ironing kit in Ghanners


    Those silly traffic light thingies in MT wagons

    The RAF

    I could think of more but I'm a bit sober at the moment :)
  15. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    I turned up at the front gate in Arborfield to see a bunch of guys in overalls painting the kerbstones in alternate colours (red, yellow, blue maybe).
    I imagine it was being done as "extras" for doing something militarily silly...