Military Precision

#1
Heard on the radio this morning how someone was planning their holiday with “military precision”. :D

This got me thinking………

Would this result in:

Rushing to get somewhere, and than sitting on a vehicle for hours?

Going somewhere that someone else booked, and not having the right clothes when you unpack?



Err…that’s me for now, over to you! :wink:
 
#2
Dont forget Rushing to an Airport to find the plane has been cancelled, no one can tell you when the next one is, then all the staff go home and leave you with nowhere to sleep except the floor ,and when they do herd you onto a plane and eject you into a god forsaken hole, all the while being shouted at and given conflicting instructions, hauling your own baggage into some accomodation that cockroaches would have more pride than to live in.
And we cant complain to watchdog or ABTA

Be we still goback for more
 
#4
Just as long as they don't try to describe it as 'running as smoothly as a military operation' :roll:

Military precision = good enough for government work.

msr
 
#5
It's not a job. It's an adventure.

How about packing up a sh1t load of kit only to be told when you get to theatre that you wont be needing it and it will be locked up until home time.

Scrim net, take out of storage, hang up net to air, repair and patch, match nets to vehicles, fold correctly, place in iso container, place iso container in out of reach corner of said foreign land. DO TOUR. Take iso container back to UK, take net from container, hang up net to air, place net in storage.

Happy days of on the bus, off the bus
 
#6
Military precision/efficiency is brill - unless your actually in the military.

Example - My parents memories of my passing out parade are that they turned up at 1000hrs, wandered around for a bit with people looking after their every need, they watched several hundred men march with great precision around on the parade square for a couple of hours, retire to bar for tea and biccies.

Couldn't of been any drama organising that surely?

8O
 
#7
Military precision - the event takes place 2 hours late at the wrong grid reference and the one piece of kit that'd make it happen smoothly hasn't been issued. Despite constant pressure to arrive as quickly as possible, the participants are left in the cold and dark for ages before the event can start while last minute changes peck the original plan to death.
 
#8
The_Kurgen said:
Dont forget Rushing to an Airport to find the plane has been cancelled, no one can tell you when the next one is, then all the staff go home and leave you with nowhere to sleep except the floor ,and when they do herd you onto a plane and eject you into a god forsaken hole, all the while being shouted at and given conflicting instructions, hauling your own baggage into some accomodation that cockroaches would have more pride than to live in.

And of course not forgetting that the crab movers will liberate you of six months worth of deodorant and other "luxury toiletries" to help you unwind on ops, while they sit in Brize smelling like a tarts handbag before going on the lash, trench dodging bullet shy to$$ers.

Cnuts in Bosnia ( slipper city variant in DJ Bks) even had the cheek to get curries flown in by the UK movers.
 
#9
One for the older precise planners:

Get the coach from wherever to Gutersloh in the middle of winter, discover there is no heater and you will have to freeze for gudumph number of hours.

Break down on the hard shoulder of some snow covered wind swept Autobahn and sit there for a further six hours waiting for another coach with no heater to turn up.

Arrive at airport having missed flight, spend a freezing sleepless night on the floor of what is laughingly called a "Departure Area" followed by a hurried crap brekkie and 3 hours on a lovely Herc.

Arrive in NI, recover own baggage, get soaked waiting for the "Bread Vans" which are your luxury transport to your holiday pad. Arrive in a freezing portacabin with sand bagged windows and bunks 3 high.

Have the departing holiday makers laugh themselves stupid at you, take over the TAOR and watch them gleefully feck off.

Now four months of happy holidays finally begin......

Edited a little due to biterness.
 
#11
Go to Manchester Airport.
Hand over baggage.
Get in shite unheated coach for the trip to Heathrow, who couldn't possibly cope with checking your luggage in but can cope (just about and only by delaying the plane for at least 14 hours for no good reason) with checking you in.
Get stuck into one large hall with no toilets and no refreshments available and only enough seats for exactly 39% of the passengers for duration of wait.
Eventually get herded onto aircraft that was old before you were born and get handed your inflight refreshments - a small white box containing a permafrosted sauage roll, a black banana, biscuits that have undergone the regulation 17 hours being tap danced on by Bella Emberg before packing and a drink that could strip paint from the side of a four tonnner.
Arrive at destination and open luggage to find out what the baggage handlers have left you for the week.
 
#12
1. Get posted to Gutersloh.

2. Jump on plane.

3. Land in Hanover.

4. WTF - "We only do flights to Gutersloh Tuesdays and Thursdays" - says Crab Mover. " I know we called you forward early but we had some spare seats"

CNUTS
 
#13
weigh all the company's kit precisely yes well under the weight for a tristar.
unfortunatly nobody thought of space run out of space half way through loading kit how we laughed :twisted:
 
#14
The_Kurgen said:
Dont forget Rushing to an Airport to find the plane has been cancelled, no one can tell you when the next one is, then all the staff go home and leave you with nowhere to sleep except the floor ,and when they do herd you onto a plane and eject you into a god forsaken hole, all the while being shouted at and given conflicting instructions, hauling your own baggage into some accomodation that cockroaches would have more pride than to live in.
And we cant complain to watchdog or ABTA

Be we still goback for more
My god you're still alive!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
Military precision.
Oh the trials and tribulations! Having to sadlle the horses, get them in the traces and coach loaded. The trip to the docks in the rain. Boarding the ship, getting below decks. The storms around the Bay of Biscay, as the jolly tars reefed the sails, and the wind blew through the rigging. The weevils in the bread, the albatross that was shot. And the weeks it took to get to Londinium.
 
#16
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Military precision.
Oh the trials and tribulations! Having to sadlle the horses, get them in the traces and coach loaded. The trip to the docks in the rain. Boarding the ship, getting below decks. The storms around the Bay of Biscay, as the jolly tars reefed the sails, and the wind blew through the rigging. The weevils in the bread, the albatross that was shot. And the weeks it took to get to Londinium.
OFAH you've managed to hit the nail on the head again mate. I can just hear your centurion kicking you!! haha :D

Be honest boys .. what would we do if we couldn't complain about it?? :twisted:
 
#17
Or the "cruise"
Turn up in some fetid port on the south coast in drizzle.
No Ship.
get in to unheated coach that pumps exhaust fumes into the passenger compartment
drive through rush hour traffic at 0.001mph until you are at the critical bottleneck where the coach will break down.
FIVE FECKIN HOURS later a four tonner will turn up and take you to another port that you could have got to quicker if you walked.
find your wonderful accommodation deep in the mysterious bowels of the ship.
Spend the next few months in what appears to be a washing machine filled with equal parts of vomit and diesel.
Occasionally get the excitement of having to board another ship whose puzzled crew look at you as if you were from mars
have to put up with Naval officers labouring under the huge misapprehension that they know what they are talking about
whenever you attempt to sleep the whine of the engines keeps you awake.
Whenever you get to sleep some bloody pipe wakes you up again.
Cant think why Thomas Cook doesnt have it in their brochure
 

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