The Bad Lads Army antics seem to have got the nostalgia juices running high so its high time we had a call for the 'best of the bunch'. Lets start with Show Parades We Have Loved An SNCO I knew went on a drill pig course at Pirbright. Halfway through the course he appeared on a Friday afternoon looking perplexed. He had failed a room inspection because his window had not been open to the uniform gap used by the rest of the course and he had been given a 'show window correctly open' parade at 2200hrs on Monday...outside the guardroom. After a lot of thinking, he borrowed a pre-made window from a local carpenter, banged his heels in at 2200 clutching it in the 'correctly open' position and got away with it. Another bloke was picked up for having a crease in his bedsheet and given a 'show crease removed from bedsheet' parade. So he irons his bedsheet with tons of starch and forms up at 2200. Simple, n'est ce pas? Bloke: Staff, crease removed from bedsheet, STAFF! [proffers sheet for inspection] Pig: Where is it? Bloke: Staff? Pig: You said you removed the crease. Where is it? Bloke: Err, its gone, Staff. Pig: Gone? You've lost it 'aven't you, you 'orrible fecker! Did I not say 'Show crease removed from bedsheet'? Bloke: Errr...umm...yes, s'pose so. Pig: Right, back 'ere tomorrow night and I wants ter see that feckin' crease understand? Bloke: Errr... Pig: Right turn, quick march, dep di dep di dep di etc. Bloke taken in hand by kindly corporal and shows up next night with immaculately pressed bedsheet (no crease) and a pocket handkerchief with one very neatly ironed crease in the middle. All right lads, the floor's yours, let's be 'aving them!