Military Friends V Civilian Friends

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by sentinal, Dec 30, 2006.

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  1. Got sent this in an email - dont think its been posted here before but if it has then appologies.

    Can anyone think of any other examples or acctual incidents to add??


    OTHER FRIENDS: Might laugh, but will help you out if you're in a bad situation. (like limping to the ambulance)
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will laugh and do the "Hello sailor" joke on you.


    OTHER FRIENDS: Will console you in times of sadness. (like your dog dying)
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say "Don't be a tart!" and sing you a mocking song. (like "how much is that doggy in the window". Bastards!)

    OTHER FRIENDS: Offer you a cup of tea.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Drink your brew!

    OTHER FRIENDS: May play a joke on you every once in a while by stealing an object (like your shoe.)
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will play a joke on you at any given opportunity by stealing your bergan, sleeping bag, and bed, so that you on't have time to realise they have turned your capbadge upside down, your rank slide the wrong way round and set your alarm to be 3 hours later than intended.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you in jail saying, "That was AWESOME!

    OTHER FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Cry with you.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

    OTHER FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

    OTHER FRIENDS: Are for a while.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Are for life

    OTHER FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that, you pussy!!"

    OTHER FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the f*** out!!

    OTHER FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
    MILITARY FRIENDS: Will resend it
     
  2. Your point being???
     
  3. A few years ago a Sgt of my acquaintance was stung by a scorpion whilst live firing in Kenya. It was a bad one- he needed IV anti-hysthamine and I think even morphine.

    While waiting for the casevac helecopter to arrive he was laying on his camp cot, the pain coming in waves every few minutes which had him writhing in agony. In between times he was p1ssing himself with laughter as his two mates went through his kit, piece by piece, trying it on, telling him he wouldn't need that "where he was going". He didn't die, and I think he got most of his kit back. :D

    Another classic: two officers go civvy parachuting in the US. One day, officer A was standing outside the jump centre looking up when officer B's parachute fails to open properly and a crowd watch as he piles in to the deck. "Oh my God, that's terrible- I think he's dead" says a watching Yank. "Yes," replies officer A, "the b@stard owed me $300". The US sense of humour didn't quite compute, even when officer B turned up broken but alive.
     
  4. Wouldn't have been a certain 'baldy' from A Coy 1 RGJ perchance?
     
  5. No- a Guardsman who looks older than he is!
     
  6. Military friends: would boot the door in shouting "You W@nking in there?"
     
  7. Funny - my Pln Sgt got stung by a scorpion during a night ambush. As you say, on a drip and sick as a dog for a week. One of the lads malletted the offending arachnid and it ended up being set in plastic, IIRC.
     
  8. Perhaps if you're a gay septic teenager who's just joined the navy...?
     
  9. This guy did the old favourite of putting his daps on without checking them. The little b'stard was inside and got him on the foot. We saw loads of others- mostly when moving rocks to build sangars- but no other bites. (nearly as dodgy as lifting targets at BATUS, only to find a rattlesnake underneath!)