Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by phil245, Mar 25, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.

    After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment. "I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."

    "Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.

    The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.

    "If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait till I get BOTH legs in there."
  2. The main trouble with midgets is that they are always poking their noses into other peoples business.
  3. The midget chatting up the tall woman thought he was doing well until she slapped his face and stormed off.

    "But all I said was 'You're hair smells nice'"!
  4. Hey..cool Mohican...Ouch...!!
  5. Talking of midgets.......Dopey knocks on the convent door and mother superior answers. "Hello, Dopey. How can I help?". Dopey replies, "are there any three foot nuns in England?"...."No, Dopey" (sniggering from the other six dwarves, who are hiding in the bushes)....."Are there any three foot nuns in Europe?", he continues,........"No", she replies",.....(more sniggering from the other six dwarves, who are hiding in the bushes). Dopey continues, "are there any three foot nuns in the world?"......"No, she replies". The other six dwarves jump out of the bushes, chanting,......."Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin"......