Mid air mud flap mishap

#23
I did that on a flight to Australia in 2016.
A real nasty silent but violent one. I stayed in the bog for 10 minutes pretending to have a dump. My Mrs whispered in my ear when I got back to my seat

"You're a dirty bastard "
Was that because of the smell or because she suspected you were doing a mile high fertility experiment?
 
#28
The pilot I believe was being checked out by the companies senior flying instructor who during take of started to suffer a heart attack. He forced the plane to take too steep an angle and it stalled falling out of the sky. Medical checks on crews and protocols for taking over aircraft under stress were changed after this.

British European Airways Flight 548 - Wikipedia
There was also an ugly Industrial Dispute ongoing at the time and said Trainer was a) a total throbber and b) violently anti unions. There had been a heated argument in the crew room before departure which may have precipitated the heart attack. The First Officer withdrew the high lift devices at too low a speed and the T tail jet went into a deep stall.

Anyway, back to farts on aircraft.

Happily the flight deck has a separate air supply that isn’t recirculated so I get sweet, pure air unlike you lot in the freight area who get to breathe everyone else’s broccoli vindaloo in vapour form.

There is a pay back though, we are often at the aircraft door on the air bridge on arrival, ready to get the thing off on its next run. The blast of foetid air that gusts out of the cabin when the door opens is roughly akin to opening a Karachi sewer at high noon.

You dirty bastards.
 
#29
DC3 had the problem that opening the DV windows caused a reverse flow of air from the bog in the back. In a couple of minutes you'd get the whiff of old Elsan preceded by all the dropped sumps and BO of the victims strapped into the pax area.

Also had the habit of sucking the pens out of the pen pocket of my nice new US mil nylon jacket and scattering them all over northern Moz.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#30
John Young, astronaut extraordinaire and moonwalker, who died recently, left his vox mike on whilst discussing his fart problem on Apollo 16. Being in a small lunar landing module on the moon, I cannot imagine how horrible a barrage of brown thunder would be. Charlie Duke's response is not recorded.
 
#31
You don't know what a rancid fart is until you drop one in an immersion suit on the chopper flight to or from the platform and forget all about it until you pop the zip on arrival up to two hours later.
I certainly do. You one-trip wonders have no idea. Dropping a few air biscuits in the suit as Driver, Airframe early on in your two hour flight out, then turning round and going back again with your off-going oppos, then doing it all over again gives plenty of time for it to ferment nicely. After a few days in a row of that “ripe” is a good word to describe the suit.
 
#32
Transatlantic flight a few years ago and I had a hangover of death after an all-nighter in London. The flight was made worse by being in close proximity to about 3 or 4 mothers with screaming babies. Finally, with my frayed nerves and lack of sleep, I gently released an acrid cloud of Guinnessy-proteiny-goodness, watching the various reactions through my half-closed eyes. When it had got far enough down the cabin I turned to my neighbour and with just enough volume said "Christ, that's got to be a nappy....."

Cue a rush to the heads of mothers with babes-in-arms. I still look back on that flight with a huge amount of pride and self-satisfaction.
 
#33
In 1972 a civilian jet (BOAC?) taking off from Heathrow for Belgium (on the day my brother was due to fly from Heathrow to Belgium to take up a post at the Embassy, but that's by the by) fell on Staines.

I was in Sixth Form. One of my muckers (went on to be a British Midland, then Virgin, pilot) insisted he'd heard that the last words on the cockpit voice recorder were, "Have you sh¡t yourself?"
That's a question of cause and effect isn't it? Was the guy shitting himself due to his very poor prospects, or had he dropped his guts with such a vile and corrosive guff that it had either rendered the entire flight crew incapable of flying, or burnt through control cables?
 
#37
John Young, astronaut extraordinaire and moonwalker, who died recently, left his vox mike on whilst discussing his fart problem on Apollo 16. Being in a small lunar landing module on the moon, I cannot imagine how horrible a barrage of brown thunder would be. Charlie Duke's response is not recorded.
amateurs.

Apollo 8: About an hour after starting his sleep shift, Borman obtained permission from ground control to take a Seconal sleeping pill. The pill had little effect. Borman eventually fell asleep, and then awoke feeling ill. He vomited twice and had a bout of diarrhea; this left the spacecraft full of small globules of vomit and feces, which the crew cleaned up as well as they could.
 

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