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Mick's dead

Two blokes in a pub… One says “Mick’s dead” “Dead? Says the other “How?
“Well he was driving round to my house in that open top car of his and he must have been going too fast when he clipped the kerb. The car flipped over and threw him from the car. He was going that fast that the force threw him through my bedroom window where he landed in a heap!”

“WOW, what a way to go!”

“No. He survived that! Remember that antique wardrobe I had? Well he was trying to get up and he pulled on the handle pulling the wardrobe down on top of him”

“Bloody hell, terrible way to die!”

“No. He survived that, He crawled out onto the landing, leant on that banister I was putting in but it didn’t hold and he fell down the stairs breaking nearly every bone in his body!”

“Aaarrggg, That’s awful Poor fella, must ‘ave died in agony”

“No. He survived that, he made it to the kitchen where I had a pan of rice on. As he was pulling himself up by the cooker he must have upset the pan all over himself getting 3rd degree burns all over his body”

“Poor B@stard”

“No. He survived that! He crawled over to the phone on the wall, missed it and got the light socket. Well water and electricity don’t mix and he got 240 volts through his body”

“Oh my god, that’s a dreadful way to be killed”

“No. He survived that…..”

“Oh for Fecks sake. What did kill him?”

“I did, I shot him. He was wrecking my fickin house!”

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