Mick and Mary

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Gout Man, Mar 13, 2012.

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  1. Gout Man

    Gout Man LE Book Reviewer

    Mick is looking through the local paper with his mrs sat opposite on the sofa with her legs wide open knitting and not wearing any under wear and a great big hairy twat on display for all too see. Mick is fucking horrified as the kids are playing on the floor and its only a matter of time before they see their mother twat. Mick quickly thinks and shouts "Mary, the K I D S can see your CUNT.
     
  2. Sorry buddy, this is the joke section.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Gout Man

    Gout Man LE Book Reviewer

    Yes, you see mick spells out the word kids k i d s and then shouts the word CUNT, no, ah well I'll get back to work then.
     
  4. I got the jist of the "joke"

    It just wasn't funny.

    It would have been better if it went:

    Mick is looking through the local paper with his mrs sat opposite on the sofa with her legs wide open knitting and not wearing any under wear and a great big hairy twat on display for all too see. So he punched her in the grid and said "sort that fucking mess out you gopping slag"
     
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  5. Or even....
    Mary either shut your legs or comb your twat!
     
  6. Now you see, that is actually chuckle inducing, where as yours is pointless.
     
  7. sirbhp

    sirbhp LE Book Reviewer

    Mary shut yer legs we gotta delivery of coal in a minute an i dont want them to make a mistake .
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow. Mick fucked it.
     
  9. Fixed that for you.
     
  10. Mary had a little lamb.... The doctor had a breakdown!!
     
  11. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    Mary had a little lamb,
    her father shot the shepherd.

    Mary had a little lamb,
    her father shot it dead.
    now it goes to school with her,
    between two bits of bread.
     
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  12. Mary had a little lamb
    She tied it to a pylon
    Ten thousand volts shot up its arrse
    and turned its wool to nylon




    I thangyouuu!!!!
     
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  13. Mary had a little pig
    and it was always gruntin'
    she tied it to a barbed wire fence
    and kicked it's fucking cunt in.


    I'm here all week, try the garlic bread.
     
  14. Mary had a little lamb,
    She also had a bear,
    I've often seen her little lamb,
    But I've never seen her bear ...
     
  15. ancienturion

    ancienturion LE Book Reviewer

    Mary had a little lamb
    She kept it in a bucket.
    And every time the lamb got out
    The bulldog tried to put it back again.
     
    • Like Like x 2