Michael Phelps- Retard Strong?

#1
Something has been bothering me for the last few days about Michael Phelps' dominance in the pool. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but then- all of a sudden- it hit me. Could it be that the spams have figured out a way to channel super mong-strength in a manner more productive than kicking seven shades of shite out of their handlers and/or any kids who rip the p1ss out of them?

I mean, look at him:



He clearly has an extra chromosome rattling about in there somewhere or had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck a bit too long. By my reckoning his charge towards Olympic history can be thwarted by distracting him with some ice cream and the odd brightly coloured balloon here and there.

Thoughts?
 
#2
ctauch said:
Didn't you see the balloons and ice cream cone we set up at the finish?
Good point. Maybe the Aussies can get back on top of the pile with the introduction of some fluffy little bunny rabbits.
 
#3
Erm..... He was diagnosed with ADHD, a learning disability, as a child.

He has however earned $5 million in the past year so he must be doing something right.
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
DavidBOC said:
Erm..... He was diagnosed with ADHD, a learning disability, as a child.

He has however earned $5 million in the past year so he must be doing something right.
So he is a hyperactive spaz?

Your logic fails however, because I am not currently winning any gold medals...

What am I doing wrong? Furiously masturbating and swearing at strangers is not currently an Olympic event either.
 
#5
Command_doh said:
DavidBOC said:
Erm..... He was diagnosed with ADHD, a learning disability, as a child.

He has however earned $5 million in the past year so he must be doing something right.
So he is a hyperactive spaz?

Your logic fails however, because I am not currently winning any gold medals...

What am I doing wrong? Furiously masturbating and swearing at strangers is not currently an Olympic event either.
Maybe you could start a petition to have it as a demonstration event at the London Olympics with medal competition starting in 2016. Not sure who would be doing product endorsements. Would K-Y pay as much as Speedo? Not sure,
 
#6
ctauch said:
Our mongs are better then your mongs! Remember the only difference between the Special Oympics and the OLYMPICS is the word 'special'.
What's better than winning gold at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded :)
 
#7
Pish and nonsense. ADHD is another made-up affliction that exists only because:

a) thick kids won't sit down and shut the fcuk up;
b) parents and teachers are no longer allowed to kick the fcuk out of them when they don't;
c) Drug companies come up with drugs like ritalin and then have to think of "disorders" that they could cure- much like Restless Leg Syndrome- just so there was a legitimate reason for college kids to be holding onto cases of the stuff when the police came knocking.

$5m (plus another mil from Speedo, as I understand)- Jesus, can you imagine how flash his new tambourine is going to be? Yes, he's obviously doing something right, but then that Corky kid from Life Goes On had a good run for a while, too. I still wouldn't want either of them to go into the field of neurosurgery. Besides, Phelps is not even the most overpaid retard in sports:

 
#9
41fm77 said:
Is it me or does Phelps look suspicously like Forest Gump ?????
I thought it was more like Adam Sandler in Little Nicky.





Are they related? I think we should be told...
 
#10
There's a profile in the Sunday Times - he was one of the weakest swimmers they had on the team out of water and he only started weight training last year.

Swimming - too many medals, too many distances, too many strokes....I mean jesus, they took the 1k out of the cycling and we have nver had a 300m track race. which is a brilliant distance - the 200 people come up and the 400 come down, it's usually as tight as hell.

Moreover, in no other sport do natural (and otherwise undesirable) features give you such an advantage - freakishly long arms, hypermobile joints, short fat legs, big feet and hands....

A 100, 200, 400 and 800, use whatever stroke you like, and that's it, IMHO
 
#12
gobbyidiot said:
There's a profile in the Sunday Times - he was one of the weakest swimmers they had on the team out of water and he only started weight training last year.

Swimming - too many medals, too many distances, too many strokes....I mean jesus, they took the 1k out of the cycling and we have nver had a 300m track race. which is a brilliant distance - the 200 people come up and the 400 come down, it's usually as tight as hell.

Moreover, in no other sport do natural (and otherwise undesirable) features give you such an advantage - freakishly long arms, hypermobile joints, short fat legs, big feet and hands....

A 100, 200, 400 and 800, use whatever stroke you like, and that's it, IMHO
I read a report on his daily food intake, for breakfast he starts with three fried egg sandwiches, egg banjos the food of champions.
 
#13
BigT said:
I read a report on his daily food intake, for breakfast he starts with three fried egg sandwiches, egg banjos the food of champions.
He has to eat 3 because he drools 2/3 of whatever he eats out the side of his mouth.
 
#16
I'm sure his "illness" was used in a plea of mitigation for his drink driving conviction.

As much as I abohor that behaviour you have to admire his achievements.

YM
 
#17
gobbyidiot said:
Swimming - too many medals, too many distances, too many strokes....I mean jesus, they took the 1k out of the cycling and we have nver had a 300m track race. which is a brilliant distance - the 200 people come up and the 400 come down, it's usually as tight as hell.
Exactly, there's an absolute shedload of events that are so similar it's obviously going to be dominated by the on-form swimmer. The same reason that the previous olympic gold record tally was set by Mark Spitz aother swimmer. A sprinter or marathon runner couldn't do it because there isn't the same volume of similar events.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#18
DavidBOC said:
Erm..... He was diagnosed with ADHD, a learning disability, as a child.

He has however earned $5 million in the past year so he must be doing something right.
My Father said:
When all’s said and one there’s nothing wrong with ADHD sufferers that a good kicking won’t sort.
 
#19
Is it just me hoping against all odds he might be picked up for Doping. Hes had 40+ test so far surely 1 will come back poitive.


And with him out the way we could be on to the septics haul of 19 gold medals would put them roughly koint with us and the Oz Land.


They were saying yesterday if he were a country in his own right he would be lying 7th on the medal table.
 
#20
PoisonDwarf said:
gobbyidiot said:
Swimming - too many medals, too many distances, too many strokes....I mean jesus, they took the 1k out of the cycling and we have nver had a 300m track race. which is a brilliant distance - the 200 people come up and the 400 come down, it's usually as tight as hell.
Exactly, there's an absolute shedload of events that are so similar it's obviously going to be dominated by the on-form swimmer. The same reason that the previous olympic gold record tally was set by Mark Spitz aother swimmer. A sprinter or marathon runner couldn't do it because there isn't the same volume of similar events.
Fair enough, you'd have to come up with something worthwhile to pad out the first week. Once you stop laughing at the bizarre kit the competitors wear, the 10m air pistol gets old rather quickly:

 

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