Something has been bothering me for the last few days about Michael Phelps' dominance in the pool. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but then- all of a sudden- it hit me. Could it be that the spams have figured out a way to channel super mong-strength in a manner more productive than kicking seven shades of shite out of their handlers and/or any kids who rip the p1ss out of them? I mean, look at him: He clearly has an extra chromosome rattling about in there somewhere or had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck a bit too long. By my reckoning his charge towards Olympic history can be thwarted by distracting him with some ice cream and the odd brightly coloured balloon here and there. Thoughts?