MI5 recruiting gay spies

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by dogs_bollox, Aug 18, 2008.

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  1. So this is the news flash
    "LONDON (AFP) - The Security Service is actively recruiting gay spies and wants its staff to be more open about their sexuality, the Financial Times reported Monday.

    The chief executive of Stonewall, a gay rights lobby group, told the business daily it had been hired by the Security Service -- better known as MI5 -- to help the agency encourage more gay applicants for positions.

    "Historically, public services were delivered by the man from the ministry, who was white and heterosexual and got the 4:30 pm (train) back to Tunbridge Wells every afternoon," Ben Summerskill said.

    "This (move by MI5) is recognition that the establishment is changing and slowly becoming more reflective of wider society."

    The intelligence agencies have in recent years attempted to cast a wider net when it comes to recruiting -- the country's foreign intelligence service MI6 placed its first-ever advertisement for jobs in a newspaper in May 2007, and in recent years, it has launched its own website.

    Separately, the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ), Britain's intelligence listening post, has embedded advertisements into popular video games in a bid to attract tech-savvy recruits."
    Link http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080818/tuk-britain-intelligence-gay-jobs-advert-a7ad41d.html

    I thought judging from the 'Cambridge 5' that being homosexual was mandatory. It was just that they kept it quiet and entered by the back door !! :D

  2. Of course, HM intelligence services have always been well known for their rampant heterosexuality....
  3. Good to see tradition being maintained in some government departments then!
  4. you got your application in then Mr_D?
  5. I wonder if they have a 'ring gauge' for the medicals. That would exclude RAF regt then !! :evil:

    Perhaps they think gays would be able to secrete a complete radio (rather than a few matches & a fiver) where no-one will find it :wink:

  6. Well sir, I may be a homosexual, but I am no scot.

    And before jarrod gets all excited and starts PMing me, I was joking.
  7. For which relief :)wink:) much thanks!
  8. " Not only 9 to 5 but now gay and alive"

    Priority will be given to candidates who turn up, snappily dressed, crew cut hair style, gym membership card and non visible tattoes, however, interview points awarded for dolphin tattoes on arse cheeks or ankle. Candidates should check the revised answers to the following on our information website :

    1) Cork or screw top on a Tempranillo-Merlot 2001
    2) Fennel Risotto? grated Parmesan or not?
    3) Nasty PSNI man tells you to go walk your own fcuking poodle and you reply....?
    4) Military type puts his hand up your arrse, helping you onboard the Chinook helio, would you
    a) feign annoyance, b) push backwards or c) ask for his mobile number, purely for ops reasons only of course.
    5) what eyeliner, best matches desert cam. Carefull on this one. Do doublecheck the website.
  9. so will the new series of spooks have a cast a bit more like these arrse bandits?

  10. On a more serious note(pulls on body-armour/helmet, checks shell-scrape)I'd be more impressed if the Spooks set up the Regional Intelligence Centres that were promised at least a year BEFORE 7/7.

    Inspite of the fact that the only Islamic terrorist attack outside of London happend at Glasgow Airport, and that Glasgow had been used as a base for the attempted strike on London 24 hours earlier, we still don't have any Spooks up here. They're parachuted in for specific jobs - like advising the Scottish Parliament on security measures - then return to the Smoke.

    I can well understand why Intelligence Officers in London have no wish to transfer up here(for a start most don't speak the lanquage :wink: )but surely the Spooks can recruit local "talent"?

    OK, rant over. We can get back to slagging off the pillow-biters! :twisted:
  11. Are you implying that the photo is of arrser's or faggot deviants ?
  12. Russian heavy to suspected British spy: "Are you a spy Mr. Crisp"?

    Suspected spy: "Give us a kiss and I'll tell ya".
  13. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7137315.stm

    Seems to be an ongoing process.
  14. You can just imagine the new selection boards...

    Spook: "Tell me: do you think you could kill a man?"

    Applicant: "Ooo, I suppose I could - eventually!" :twisted:

    WW - seconded what you said. But we'll probably have to wait 'til AQ sets of a SADM in London and they evacuate the place before we get Spooks North of the Border... :roll:
  15. What about if he was coming really hard? and from behind too? Would you take him Frank?