Mexican Bumwank

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by elnoddo, Jun 11, 2007.

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  1. Yes I have been Mexican Bumwanked

    3.1%
  2. Yes I have administered a Mexican Bumwank

    19.6%
  3. Both of the above

    8.2%
  4. No im a poof

    10.3%
  5. I am fool and have no idea what it is

    58.8%

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  1. Im conducting an investigation into the use of the 'Mexican Bumwank' as an aid to training.

    Im very interested to hear of ARRSErs Bumwank tales of derring-do and opinions regarding when they should be administered.

    I personally have had the pleasure to be both the Bumwanker and the Bumwankee, although as i was unconcious when I got Bumwanked I missed out on the full experience.

    I did however vomit on the blokes bumhole as he was trying to skiff me. So every cloud as they say.
     
  2. What on gods earth are you on about? :? 8O
     
  3. I shall elaborate.. :wink:

    The art Of "Mexican Bumwankery"

    First you select a target

    Secondly you hold of from whipping your ARRSE, at least until the Mexican
    Tashe has been delivered.

    Once target is in sight, take your middle finger and generously probe your
    anal area and get a good dollop of the aromatic faeces.

    Then generously apply to the top lip of said target

    Voila "A Mexican Bumwank" or Skiffing to the more discerning connoisseur.

    Try it at the Office Party... :roll:
    Pah..Civvies..I Sh1t em... :wink:
     
  4. Thank you, my life feels strangely enriched by the new knowledge I have gained today. 8O
     
  5. oh sweet Jesus no!
     
  6. nothing like a pooh tache :D


    *edited for being a mong*
     
  7. What you have described is skiffing. Mexican Bumwank takes it one step further and involves liberally smearing your arrsehole over someone's face a la face sitting.
     
  8. The above is Not a real Mexican bumwank.

    The version I saw, not experienced, thank Christ!!

    Was; victim grabbed by four blokes and pinned to the ground face up.

    Crowd chant da da dada dada dadada etc.

    Fat sweaty oik with hygiene problem strips off kecks lowers himself over victim and rubs arse crack vigorously across victim’s nose front to back from eyes to mouth.

    Hardened squaddies feel nauseous at the sight and the victim generally spews.

    One nails feller when treated to this did however manage to get a good grip of the fella’s nutsack with his teeth. Much screaming ensued.

    I think that I threw up from laughing and sympathetic pains in my scrotal region.
     
  9. I was once the proud receiver of a "Mexican Bumwank" on my first night in battalion.

    Despite being nearly 20 years ago I remember it, fondly, like it was yesterday (Stares into space looking nostalgic..)

    I had the pleasure of being woken up at about 2am by blokes coming back off the p*ss and being carried off my bed using the mattress as a kind of stretcher.

    Four or five blokes then held me down with one of them clamping his arm around my head so I couldn't move it in any direction.

    Then someone squatted above me and performed a kind of 'arrse wiggle' centimetres from my face and pulled his cheeks apart.

    I couldn't take my eyes off his walnut and a feeling of dread came over me.

    He then tightly clamped his tea towel holder around the top of my nose and proceeded to gyrate and do an impression of a crazed bloke riding a rodeo horse while masturbating my nose with his sphincter muscle.

    Funnily enough, I've never told my wife and daughter about that incident and somehow think I never will.
     
  10. I always thought that was called a Dirty Sanchez
     
  11. ^^

    Thats a dirty sanchez in my book.

    Now clamping ones nipper over the nose of another is more of a bum wnak arena
     
  12. Yes gents Zulu_w has the correct definition.

    If you are still in any doubt picture a fat sweaty reccy mech skiffing his rancid hoop up and down your face using the 'dog with worms arse scratching' method.

    The finger skiff is indeed also known as the poo-tache or dirty sanchez.

    Rumours still circulate of a mythical figure known only as Mexican Bumwankman, said to wear a colourful lycra suit, a pair of paisly Y-fronts, silver painted wellys, a sombrero and one hell of a gringo-tache.
     
  13. Deliberate use of whipping instead of wiping?

    Second option, whilst still vomit inducing, may prove far less painful!!
     
  14. Now clamping ones nipper over the nose of another is more of a bum wnak arena

    Isn't a nipper over the nose more affectionately known as a 'redeye'?
     
  15. Being ex-pongo and now crab, i tried to transfer this tradition to the blue from the green. Needless to say, the boys in blue(not the coppers) don't tend to find it quite as impressive. Was a champion of the mexican in addition to the dutch blindfold and teabagging since being a crab and they just don't get it!!!! Makes it funnier in a way 'cos it really does offend them!