Mess life

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Snoreador, Nov 23, 2010.

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  1. While I have a long way to go before getting close to entertaining the idea of living in a mess (i.e. an AOSB pass and getting through RMAS), I was pondering something today, and it doesn't hurt to ask.

    It's often said that the mess is one's home, and in my home I have friends to stay. Although, I don't share my home with X other people. I'm wondering how friends visiting works - is it acceptable? Is it possible to arrange rooms, or is it a "Thanks, now find a Travelodge nearby" kind of affair? I'm well expecting this to be related to the "How long is a piece of string?" question, but the finer points of mess life are one of the things that are hard to find out about on fam. visits alone.

    Thanks for any insight,
  2. In most cases a mess will have a few spare rooms that you can book for guests. Inevitably sometimes all rooms will be occupied, some messes have a fairly transient population. You can expect spare rooms to be booked up well in advance of mess parties.

    Even the most traditional messes now permit single officers to have their girlfriends (or boyfriends) to stay in their rooms although clearly they cannot take up residence.

    Clearly messes will have their own subtle variations, what I have described above is good enough for planning purposes.
  3. Thank you, sounds very civilised.
  4. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer

    You might bear in mind that the mess is set up for the majority, not for one, so there will be protocols (spoken and unspoken) that will need to be observed. At the very least, you possibly wouldn't want to invite your friends to stay too often in a place with any number of rules, the transgression of which may ultimately reflect on you.
  5. Certainly, I imagine it would be very easy to end up a bit resented for that kind of thing.
  6. Start making friends with pretty girls right now, they're always welcome in any mess. And if you turn up on your Fam Visits with a variety of photos of them, so will you.

    Frankly, if you're a young man of the immense charm required to get friends to visit you regularly in Catterick / Inverness / Chepstow / other dull garrison town far from London then persuading them to undress should be a breeze. Go for it, and remember to post them here too.


    N.B. If attempting to join the HCav, use photos of boys. Regimental custom... or something.
  7. Would you like the high-res pictures, or do you prefer the slightly smaller ones which leave more to the imagination? I didn't think of taking the photo album to the fam visits I've been on - I'll make sure to correct this. I presume it's also good form to share with the CO / Adjutant during interview?
  8. Appealing to an Infantry Officer's imagination is a lost cause frankly. As a case in point, I need the photos to be gag-inducingly graphic from the outset, and if the colour balance isn't ramped up to make it as primary coloured as Lego I tend to lose concentration quickly or frown to the point I go cross eyed.

    Don't be so vulgar as to ostentatiously draw attention to your album in your CO's interview though, a discreet cough as you slide it over his desk will suffice.

  9. This is clearly going to get complicated. Sounds like I'm going to need different albums for different regiments / corps. I thought that one couldn't buy a commission these days, but having to splash out on personally designed and printed albums is going to add up a bit!
  10. Just one further thing - if the girls involved are wearing School Girl outfits parade them before the shoot to ensure they're not wearing a tie to which they're not entitled. Although it might be the type of breach of etiquette which appeals to the CO's heartfelt belief that such minxes deserve a hard spanking it would be embarassing if the he enquires as to whether the nubile young lady posing not-so-demurely knows his daughter who is also at Roedean. And still more so if it *is* his daughter...

  11. Frankly, I think there´s nothing worse than having a bunch of manky, bad mannered, giggling civilians hanging around the mess - it doesn´t matter what sex they are. If you want to get your leg over, do it outside the wire, unless you´re prepared to share with your brother officers, but that doesn´t mean she can clutter up the public rooms or show her blotchy pissed up face at breakfast the next morning.
  12. I must admit that I was referring to friends, rather than 'friends'. I can see this is something that one has to sound out at a particular mess - it's not just one's own home.
  13. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    It isn't just yours, as you have quite rightly pointed out - it is also the home of all fellow mess members. Having your girlfriend over is usually fine, and mates on the odd occasion (usually before/after a mess ball) is pretty usual. Having a random selection of mates treating it as an annex to the local travel lodge is not.

    Other mess members will want to relax, gob off and generally feel at home - guests make it harder to do so.
  14. Certainly, and that's not what I was getting at. It was the 'on the odd occasion' type of thing I had in mind.
  15. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    The senior living in subbie (note, not the Adjt) will be the one to have a chat with. He will give you a good steer on how the mess works in reality, and advise you of any mess specific protocols or rules.