Mess Graces

#2
Rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!
 
#3
Blessing Before Meals (Christian)

Bless us, Lord, and these Your gifts,
which we are about to receive from Your bounty,
through Christ our Lord. Amen.

If you want one for the 'other' faith's, PM me.
 
#4
Little Jesus Meek and Good
Nail him to a block of wood
Ta for the scoff and this Ice cold Bud
Amen
 
#5
OK..serious answer.....

This is the Latin grace we said at school before dinner:

Benedic, Domine, nos
Et haec tua dona
Quae de tua largitate
sumus sumpturi per Christum,
Dominum nostrum Amen.

which translates into much the same as the grace suggested by Gunny_H
 
#6
OOOoooo, Woopert, you gonna blind some crusty old WO with science!  Depending on which mess, I suggest one does NOT use a prayer in Latin in the WO & Sgt's Mess (except if the congregation are young and not crusty, or if the RSM sanctions it before hand).  I can hear the comments now, 'Latin, what's that?'.  Okay I suppose, in a mess with a long tradition.

Have only witnessed one occasion when Mr Vice did a 'silly' prayer, involving God and Mickey Mouse.  Chap did on/off duty through the Xmas and New Year period.  Oh how I laughed !!  He got mine on New Years Eve !!
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#7
Heres one for ya:

God of goodness bless our food,
and keep us in this cheery mood,
Bless our meals and those who serve us,
and for tomorrows hangover,
Lord preserve us! :)
 
#8
Here's an old Scottish wan fur ye:

                Some hae meat but canny eat,
                Some nae meat but waant it,
                But we hae meat, and we can eat,
                So may the Lord be thankit!
 
#9
For good fun, good friends and good food,
and all the other good F's in life
Amen
 
#11
Woopert, with your Latin ramblin' advice. Just how many times have you been in the WO & Sgts mess? At my school, the only bods that did Latin wore proper lab coats for science (with two pens, one pencil and slide rule in top pocket) as opposed to us 'lads' who had to make do with our dads old shirts. Said Latin boffins would regularly have their school dinner money impounded and have to face the humiliation of smoking twenty woodbines in twenty minutes behind the bike sheds or face an all mighty biffing of the year bully.

I went to a very good school by the way, it was approved!

As I've only just seen the original post is from Murphy, try doing your first grace as Mr Vice in Latin then I recommend you make a toast to HM the Queen, followed by a hearty rendition of 'Bridge over the River Qwai' on the harmonica, the WRVS lady and all the members of the Big Brother house. Of course, you must ensure you stand on the top table with your mess waistcoat outside your jacket and your penis hanging 'south' at the time.

(Legal disclaimer: This action will cost you approx 10 bottles of Port and 35 extra duties and in no way should members of the public try and recreate any of the scenes described above. These acts were performed by professionals with full medical/stunt cover assisting. Any resemblence to  real life members of the WO & Sgts mess is purely coincidental unless your name is Fodders).
 
#12
Here is a simple one to remember so you wont have to fear losing your bit off paper


A thousand hairy savages,
Sittng down to lunch,
gobble, gobble, glup glup
munch, munch, munch

Amen

Author Spike Milligan
 
#14
A slight variation:

Good food
Good wine
Good company
Good God

Amen
 
#15
As a Mr Vice it was a cert i was going to get the port in for some pathetic crime so I just baffled the RSM at grace and he gave me 1 port fine then forgot about the rest:

Dear Lord,

I have just spent a wad on Mess dress, Ball gown and a taxi

We're payin for this food ourselves, and you want thanks

Yeh Right.

Amen
 
#16
Not sure of the provenance of this one but I cannot claim it as mine....

Good food, good meat,
Good Heavens! Let's eat!
 
#17
Thank you O lord &
let us be not like porridge.
Thick and difficult to stir
But like cornflakes.
Crisp and ready to serve.
Amen :?

The Padre did this one,so got away with it,don't do it if you are Mr vice, you wont!
 
#18
Dear J.C.
Big G.
and the spook,
This looks great, Thanks.

only for very small less formal gatherings, or if you have a fetish for copping 'Extras'!
 
#19
woopert said:
This is the Latin grace we said at school before dinner:

Benedic, Domine, nos
Et haec tua dona
Quae de tua largitate
sumus sumpturi per Christum,
Dominum nostrum Amen.
If you want to use the Anglised version of the above

Bededict - He is at home, he is a nonce
He has eaten two Dona Kebabs
Thats why he is such a lardy
To sum up - He's does it every Christmas
When at home trimming his nasal hair
Amen

Try it - The razzman might just stop flashing the magic fingers at about 30 :p
 
#20
try theses bad boys

lord bless this bunch as we munch on our lunch. Amen

Bless, o'lord, this food for thy use and make us ever midful of the wants and nees of others. Amen

and if you really want to go down a treat and buy lots of port try this one

thank your god for the food so great,
and praise the lord amen, but wait!!
I'm the one who went to the store
and bought the glorious goods galore.
i dont see god helping out, so what are dinner prayers about?

I'll tell you exactly what it means-
preyers before dinner are a hill o'beans
im the one who set the table
with or without HIM i was able
thanks to the paycheck for the money i spent
on food, drink, clothes and rent.

Thank you lord for all this food?
i've never seen Him - I know its crude
but come on get real, why should i pray
when prayers dont get answered anyway
corn grows in fields, and meat comes from cows
why must i go on analyzing now?

Dear God im sorry but i thank myself
for the chef boyardee on the kitchen shelf
i dont remember you helping any
when my pop tarts supply was running empty
so excuse me as i begin my dinner
but dont you dare call me a sinner


hope you all managed to stay awake for that one
 
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