Mess games - CBWG Relay is firm fave. either end of the ante-room is a table. On tray at each end is cointreau, brandy, whisky, gin, in shot glasses. One row per member of team. you run from Gasworks End to Spion kop and drink one shot. Member of opposite team spins you round and you go to other end and repeat. Once you have done CBWG line at each end, number two goes...and so on. Time keeper will record time from "Go" to last man staggering into piano and throwing up. Then team two go...it is messy as fcuk but great fun if you have a big ante-room. Oh and it is a sprint gentlemen - no pacing yourself please!
Rugby with tin bar tray folded - let's see your risk assessment on that!
Monte-kitty, Moriarty, high cockalorum all good value. Please remove spurs unless your opponents are from the RGJ - they need and deserve pain...
Nails - v German game. 4 inch nail in block of wood - cut tree trunk best. Try to hit nail in with pointy end of hammer - no hands. First one to get it flush with wood wins! H & S nightmare - did it once with body armour, helmets and goggles.
Drinking draughts - opponent drinks any of the pieces that you take - best with pints.
Clear a large open area, place full beers randomly all over the floor. Participants start at one end on hands and knees blindfolded and feel their way to the other with their fingers. Any drink touched must be consumed before continuing.
The Game Of Life... classic. Stand on the Mess coffee table. Bezzer inserts bum-wad into your ring piece so that it touches the table. You are then handed a bottle of whisky/vodka etc. and the bog roll is lit. You have to neck as much as possible before yanking out the flaming paper from yer singed arse cheeks. It's a variation on the "Dance Of The Burning Bumhole" which uses a newspaper inserted into yer crack and sprinting around the Mess.
Also: "Aces High" - loads of shots and the highest card drawn starts before he/she can't take anymore. Cheap 'n cheerful.
Sneaking under the table at dinner and tying up the CO/guest's shoelaces when they get up for a speech... old, but classic.
Other sillyness: Adopting an Elvis accent when "Thank you very much Sir" or "W ank you very much Sir" or getting the scum to do a "Uh-huh-huh" and shaking their right legs in a Elvis "I'm all shook up" manner with a new Rupert.
100m salute is good, especially with a roared "GOOD MORNING SIR!".
The best was the retiring RSM hiding in the Biffas somewhere in Norfolk on Sunday. "About Turns", "Eyes Right" etc. from the bin had us all screwed up much to the confusion of various nobs.
Contestant stands in front of carpet, two bottles of beer held by the neck, leans forward till bottles touch carpet, moves into push-up position using the bottles as stilts till he reaches the shot glass. Now, tricky bit: releases grip on one bottle and "rests" on the other (one-armed push-up position), downs the shot, returns to original position. Nothing but bottles allowed to touch carpet, obviously. Ever increasing distance sorts out wheat from chaff.
Develops upper body and liver strength - win win.
Similar to aircraft carrier above but played on floor. 2 dozen wooden broom handles (without head) and one figure 11.
Lay broom handles out parallel to each other to form runners. Place fig 11 on handles at start. Long run up and jump onto fig 11. Winner is person who is a. not in MRS and b. travelled furthest down line of broom handles on fig 11.
Additionally you could add in the requirement not to spill beer you are carrying.
cannot compare to the mess surfing but: Cider/beer apple bobbing with a twist
fill bucket with prefered beverage and carry out apple bobbing, then dip your soaking face into a saucepan of flour to try digging out jelly beans/babies/other sweets all with your hands behind your back. Then afterwards you have to consume the bucket within your group (if you decide to do a drinkng competiton type night)
Here is a game I was introduced to many years ago in the QRIH mess. Basic equipment needed is a quantity of potatoes, some green string & a couple of traffic cones.
Thread a spud on to some green string, tie this round the waist so it is almost touching the floor (either one per team member, or one per team). Set out a course on a hard floor, with a cone placed at a suitable distance, can of ale rested on the top. At the start line, place a loose spud infront of each team, now using the spud on a string (no hands) manouvre the loose spud down & round the cone, scupper can of ale before returning to start. Relay race - carry on.
The one thing about this game is that even the fittest, most cool dude/girl will look a complete biff.