Mess / Bar Games

Discussion in 'Royal Signals' started by mungeous, Nov 25, 2008.

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  1. Time is running out and I know organising bar games for the xmas is coming my way.
    Got a plasma, got a wii, got a big log and a few nails.
    Bear in mind there will be ladies (both serving and partners of) so no pin the tail on the naked stripper, not much room so no rugby, low ceilings and no real money so no bucking bronco do we have any suggestions for low cost, maximum piss my sides laughing bar games?

  2. Sympathetic_Reaction

    Sympathetic_Reaction LE Book Reviewer

    You got a snooker table? Used to be a great mess game at West Court Mess involving trying to break peoples fingers with a snooker ball....or at least that's the rules I was told....can't remember the name of it for the life of me...but great fun.

  3. who can smash the CO's wife first? ... and keep their job.
  4. This is going well.

    The CO's wife was unavailable and i'd rather smash my knob in a drawer before the other wives.
  5. Its always best to involve gambling at some point. Do a horse race - organisation is minimal, just some large dice (if you cant find any, paint 1-6 on the side of some LDA Mux's, i'm sure there isnt another purpose for them). Draw the race grid on the floor in black and nasty and put in some jumps.

    Easy, minimal and invokes the need to make money which is always popular.
  6. AAGF


    Couple of rounds of Zulu Warrior and then spontaneously segue into the competitive formation version of Dance of the Flaming Arrseholes - equally applicable to either sex, involves drinking and gambling - what more could you ask for?
  7. That's already the plan for the troop xmas do, I'm not repeating it!

  8. So, you like the CO's wife?
  9. Tanks! 2 teams at either end of the snooker table with a red and white ball on the table. Team 1 starts by launching the white ball towards the red. The idea being to pot the red ball. If the white is potted they are out, if they pot the red the opposite team member is out. Once the ball is launched it is not allowed to stop and the opposite team member must catch the ball after it has struck the red ball and launch it back at it.

    The ball can only be launched from either end of the snooker table, not the sides.
    There are variations where the team members must keep their hands on the side of the table. Or they are allowed to physically interfere with the opposition as they manoeuvre around the table.
    The white ball can be launched as many times as possible but the turn is over if the red ball stops moving.
    Once the red ball is struck by the white ball the other team must catch the white ball and try to hit the red ball.
  10. So far I've come up with apple bobbing, pin the tail on the donkey and horse racing. I think 'jump the old mans wife' may not be in keeping with the rest of the buffoonery.
  11. The coffin.

    Get a box tat someone can sit in, attach a bar to it (under neath) and manufacture some stands. (axle stands from the LAD fine) now find an ash pole (gym). And put some one in it.

    Stay up the longest. useing the pole to keep oneself upright.

    Get a command task on the go.

    Remember one where you had to fish a hexi stove out of shamooly case. Just give ém a hook and a bit of string.

    Sack the computers though. They´re naff.
  12. Bowmore_Assassin

    Bowmore_Assassin LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Cereal box with the lid/cardboard flaps cut off on one end. Stand on end on floor. Circle of people around it (Preferably equal mix females/males or mostly females because they look better doing this (unless they are very lardy)). Take it in turns to pick box up with teeth. Everyone takes a turn. Then cut an inch or two off the box and repeat until the 'box' on the floor in very small in height. Eventually you will find the most flexible person (normally totty) will be the only one who can acheive the task - winner gets a prize.

    Basically you have to stay on your feet and bend over to pick up the box with your teeth. Any hands, knees or bodily parts other than feet touch the floor - disqualified (if you want to make them drink a short as a penalty, its an option). Normally totty is best at this game - they tend to be more flexible :D . Can be very amusing depending on drink consumed beforehand, especially when p*ssed-up subbie falls on arrse/face.
  13. Fully agree. I went to one where everyone stood around watching someone else playing guitar hero. Dog Toffee.
  14. In similar vein to the cerial box one, passing a balloon down the line, under chin to under chin, knees to knees or mix of both. Good laugh all around.

    Or get one of those electric shock machines. We had one once, where we made up a little "battle ground" and had remote control tanks driving around. When you got shot 3 (?) times you got a belt. It was funny flicking the shock intensity up and down. Girls scream on little, some knob grabs the remote learing so you flick it to "max"!!!

    Was funny as fcuk when a Inf Col (ex Warrior) got all competitive with a Cav Maj once!!! Both were good lads (we´ll sort that out now), but they must have been legends in the "Competitive Dad" club! Problem was resolved by the batteries dying half way through. Probably due to the mega volts that both these guys had absorbed!

    Had similar experience to you Boney. Can´t remember the game (some sort of raceing game) but basically the "game" consisted of one of the team being picked/spammed to drive, with the remainder egging him on and drinking..... utter dog toffee.

    Another one, is getting from point A to B with out touching the floor, usually involves everyone in the press up position holding on to the person in fronts ankles.

    Or going around the table. Usually the table is replaced with a set of parrelel bars. Start on top, roll under then come up a gain. If you can get some wall bars, or similar, with marked letters on, points awarded for each peson to jump on, touch each letter and drop off.

    A few games of "drunk while you think" perhaps.

    A good one is "how many sexual positions in a minute" especially if there will be a few pairs going "mano el mano" :D

    We also tried "dwarf tossing" at a Officers V SNCOs. We won the Rugby (convinicingly) and then had a games night rematch after. six blokes throw the smallest bloke they can find that is up for it. On to a crash mat.

    One I was introduced by the RAF. Put a potato between legs, wobble down the "runway" and bomb a bucket. Points for every potato in bucket. Potatoes not to hit the floor. For added fun, have two teams at a time, with the players passing each other in the middle. A dropped "bomb" means a going back to the back of the line.

    If you want utter carnage, place "mess silver" on the tables. (really they are balloons, and tell everyone that the table with the most "silver" at the end of the night wins. Cue a riot.

    For team selection try this. Works better with no couples but couples can be added, if they wisto stay together.

    Tables of team size (6, 8 10 whatever) hand out cards to all guests with two differing symbols. On the RAF birthday the tables were RAF stations, and you each had a rank and plane on y card. After a quick pint, maybe some scoff and a table game, declare all of one group to move to a table. Forming a new table.

    ie. All Flt Lt to go to Cranage, All Flt Sgts to Stafford. You could use Armyrank or any rank you want. All Yellow belts go to Tokyo, all Black to Okinawa.

    Cue a drink, snack and game. Then again. All Canberras to Leuchers, Tornadoes to Brüggan. Or All Challys to Bovington, all Landies to Solihull.

    Then start the games proper.
  15. Seen a variant on this, where you place 4 paper cups around the coffin and you have to hit them over with your ash pole, then return upright.