Right, this is my first post here, so go easy on me I'd like advise on where I stand with regards to being a member of a Sgt's Mess. As far as I can see reading Queens Regs, I am required to be a member of a Sgt's Mess and pay subscriptions. I cannot find it written anywhere that I must attend any functions etc. I have to say straight away this has nothing whatsoever to do with money, but everything to do with: 1. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a Mess member. As far as I am concerned it is a private club like any private club and that's all it is. 2. I have my own social life and my own friends, and should not be forced as an adult to waste what little spare time I have in the company of people with whom I have absolutely no interest whatsoever. 3. I hate feeling that I have to lie on function returns - I should be able to say "Because I don't want to come" and leave it at that. 4. I hate the way that I get so stressed about hating the Mess! It's pathetic! I'd love to just go and discuss this with my RSM but he would absolutely freak. I am also very concerned about what action could be taken against me if I refuse to attend functions etc. I'd really like to get my facts straight before I do anything. What is the best course of action - I simply cannot just put up with it for another X amount of years... :'( Please help!