MERS Coronavirus warning

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Perhaps we need a list should the worst happen, boot size, wifes nork size etc
Here you go.


ARRSE COVID19 Self-Certification Form

(Complete in black ink and submit to @lokiuk)
ARRSE User Name
Location
Date of Diagnosis
Pc (Probablity of croaking)
Dc (Date of likely croaking)
Hospital attending (For piss-taking)
Boot Size (List manufacturer and condition. No ammunition boots)
Tenners Owed (include bank details and PIN)
Continue on separate page if you are a major ponce)
Wife's Pulchritudinousness (Include picture of face, picture of tits and fetishes she will put up with for chips)

EDIT: Somewhat typically ARRSE screwed up the table.
 
Last edited:

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
What about overground.

You know, busses.
Buses are doing well, 90% of them are empty, even those with passengers only have around 9 or 10 on them.
 
Here you go.


ARRSE COVID19 Self-Certification Form

(Complete in black ink and submit to @lokiuk)
ARRSE User Name
Location
Date of Diagnosis
Pc (Probablity of croaking)
Dc (Date of likely croaking)
Hospital attending (For piss-taking)
Boot Size (List manufacturer and condition. No ammunition boots)
Tenners Owed (include bank details and PIN)
Continue on separate page if you are a major ponce)
Wife's Pulchritudinous (Include picture of face, picture of tits and fetishes she will put up with for chips)

EDIT: Somewhat typically ARRSE screwed up the table.
I can't guarantee I will stretch to a bag of chips, depends on the quality of the merchandise
 
Just tried to get Sainsbury's home delivery. Redirected to gov.uk to see if I qualify as a vulnerable person.I have hypertension, diabetes type 2, recovering from cancer, had an evar op for an abdominal aortic aneurysm, had an arterial bypass femoral to femoral to allow me to walk a bit better, which didn't work, and am in receipt of Attendance Allowance and I am 76 years old. Unfortunately I am NOT classed as a vulnerable person.
Oh, well, I'll just have to go and queue up instead of getting home delivery. :cool:
 
Just Londoners or people from other parts of the country as well? I read that there was a BBQ with 20 people attending held by some lock-ups in Coventry, since when has Coventry been part of London? There are cunts everywhere, not just London (admittedly, we have more than our fair share, starting with the head honcho in City Hall).
Cov is full of cahnts too.

And brizzel.
 
Just tried to get Sainsbury's home delivery. Redirected to gov.uk to see if I qualify as a vulnerable person.I have hypertension, diabetes type 2, recovering from cancer, had an evar op for an abdominal aortic aneurysm, had an arterial bypass femoral to femoral to allow me to walk a bit better, which didn't work, and am in receipt of Attendance Allowance and I am 76 years old. Unfortunately I am NOT classed as a vulnerable person.
Oh, well, I'll just have to go and queue up instead of getting home delivery. :cool:
Don't go to hospital mate.

You'll finish them off!
 
Here's interesting, from High consequence infectious diseases (HCID) (UK Gov site)

Status of COVID-19
As of 19 March 2020, COVID-19 is no longer considered to be a high consequence infectious diseases (HCID) in the UK.
The 4 nations public health HCID group made an interim recommendation in January 2020 to classify COVID-19 as an HCID. This was based on consideration of the UK HCID criteria about the virus and the disease with information available during the early stages of the outbreak. Now that more is known about COVID-19, the public health bodies in the UK have reviewed the most up to date information about COVID-19 against the UK HCID criteria. They have determined that several features have now changed; in particular, more information is available about mortality rates (low overall), and there is now greater clinical awareness and a specific and sensitive laboratory test, the availability of which continues to increase.
The Advisory Committee on Dangerous Pathogens (ACDP) is also of the opinion that COVID-19 should no longer be classified as an HCID.
The need to have a national, coordinated response remains, but this is being met by the government’s COVID-19 response.
Cases of COVID-19 are no longer managed by HCID treatment centres only. All healthcare workers managing possible and confirmed cases should follow the updated national infection and prevention (IPC) guidance for COVID-19, which supersedes all previous IPC guidance for COVID-19. This guidance includes instructions about different personal protective equipment (PPE) ensembles that are appropriate for different clinical scenarios.
Definition of HCID
In the UK, a high consequence infectious disease (HCID) is defined according to the following criteria:
  • acute infectious disease
  • typically has a high case-fatality rate
  • may not have effective prophylaxis or treatment
  • often difficult to recognise and detect rapidly
  • ability to spread in the community and within healthcare settings
  • requires an enhanced individual, population and system response to ensure it is managed effectively, efficiently and safely
****************************************************************************************************

I'm now confused. Maybe it's a symptom.
Seems straightforward enough. A HCID from their criteria is something that rapidly kills the vast majority of patients that are infected, we don't know how to treat effectively and is difficult to test for. Coronavirus doesn't meet those criteria, therefore is no longer classed as a HCID. Presumably something like ebola would be a HCID.

It's still potentially dangerous, just been downgraded from the "Oh ****!" category to "Bugger".
 
It's impractical if all the land around you is OOB, otherwise, unless you have to walk on the roads, why is it impractical to walk/run from home?
There is far less likelihood of seeing anyone on the route we walk in the hills, let alone meet or contact anyone. If we walked from home, we would be crossing over, stopping, swerving, turning round to avoid coming into the 2 metre zone. It doesn't make any sense.
 
There is far less likelihood of seeing anyone on the route we walk in the hills, let alone meet or contact anyone. If we walked from home, we would be crossing over, stopping, swerving, turning round to avoid coming into the 2 metre zone. It doesn't make any sense.
Stop the drinking and walk in a straight line...
 

Flight

LE
Book Reviewer
Switzerland

69% of their cases in ICU on vents are under 60 y/o, and 25% of those have no underlying condition.

I'm guessing a lot of younger people who think they are invincible and ignoring the lockdown are going to be in for a surprise.

The Chinese identified 148 different strains. As I've said previously the less deadly ones spread faster as... erm.. they don't kill their transport.
 
Oh dear.
From the Vallodolid Daily.
81 year old lady who was taken into hospital a few weeks ago, one of the first on the mailnland, was discharged as full recovered. Videos were shown of the staff cheering as she left and she was giving thumbs up and shouting "champions".
She died 36 hours later. No official reason for death but relatives claiming it was coronavirus.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Close the underground, replace with busses.

Simples.
Fuck off, the buses are the only guaranteed way of social distancing on transport, nobody sits next to each other for a start.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
I've been given 3 months supply of my chemo and a nurse has just visited to take bloods, so I'm still being tended to.
Stay safe mate.
 
The Chinese identified 148 different strains. As I've said previously the less deadly ones spread faster as... erm.. they don't kill their transport.
This is going to be a big moment for evolutionary science. They'll have data coming out of their ears.

The virus is going to have to fit itself better to its environment to survive and the best way of doing that is by becoming innocuous. Every time it does something "noteworthy" we will be doing our best to kill it.
 

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