Merry f*****g Christmas

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Faustic, Dec 25, 2009.

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  1. Merry christmas you miserable old lot - if i've timed this right this should be dead on the hour.. oh how bored I am :D
  2. Tally ho!
  3. May I be the first to say I'm offended on behalf of all the Muslim, Jews, Pagans and Jedi that I don't even know that you used the word Christ in Christmas.
  4. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Bollocks & a couple of Humbugs thrown in to boot!
  5. indeed, merry christmas you reprobates.................humbug
  6. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    As soon as I've finished this bottle of Latitude Highland Pilsner that the kids thoughtfully bought for "Santa", it's off to bed.
    Tis the season to be jolly, my arse.
  7. Bah Humbug :wink:

    I bet a few of us will have a hangover in the morning.

    I have raised a glass to our fallen comrades.

  8. Merry Christmas, Arrse. :D Last year was shite, apart from a sh*g in Bridgwater at Twixmas which wasn't too bad....then again :roll: Glad not to be sh*gless this year.

    Merry Christmas and stay safe to all the lads and lasses on Ops, everywhere.
  9. Merry Christmas to you all; here's to a happy festive weekend (hic) and the year ahead. :D

    *downs first Christmas whisky*
  10. Someone got a Merry Xmas:

    A mother who claimed more than £30,000 in disability handouts after saying she was too frail to get out of bed was filmed working a 48-hour week running a team of cleaners.
    Christine Whittle-Morley, 47, received benefits to pay for round-the-clock care after saying her mobility was so restricted she needed help getting dressed and washing herself.
    But the mother-of-two, who also claimed it took her 30minutes to walk 14metres, had actually been working a 48-hour week for six years as a team leader for a cleaning company at up to 45 different sites.
    Benefits investigators acting on a tip-off used CCTV cameras at St Helens shopping centre in Merseyside to film her using vacuum cleaners and walking over a mile a day as she swept corridors and provided training for other staff.
    Liverpool Crown Court was told Whittle-Morley had at first legitimately secured the highest rate of disability living allowance in the 1990s after claiming on her forms she was in 'severe pain'.
    She said she had to to be accompanied outside her home in case she fell over and that she used a walking stick at all times.
    Whittle-Morley also declared she needed 24-hour personal care as she needed help with getting out of bed, dressing, bathing, using the toilet and moving around indoors.
    She later claimed income support and incapacity benefit for herself and her daughter on the grounds she was unfit for work.
    But she was exposed as fake last year when a tip-off revealed she had been working for the cleaning company since 2002. She had never told her employers about her alleged disabilities yet worked at a string of business premises.
    Whittle-Morley - who has a previous conviction for theft from an employer - admitted two counts of benefit fraud totalling an overpayment of £30,934.
    Her lawyers claimed the benefits claims were not fraudulent from the outset and the court case had 'deeply affected' her health. She said she believed her initial legitimate claim meant she would 'be on benefits for life'.

    What do you think this bit of shit she got for this?

    Answer :80 hours unpaid work and a two month night time tag.
  11. Kiss my fucking ricker and Merry Christmas, you old sentimental bastards, and fucking Happy New Year.

    Take care you skiprats, and remember, it's not just Christmas, it's Baby Jesus' birthday. Yeah, I bet you didn't buy him a Selection Box.....

    Love and Mistletoe,

    Dale and Pip xxxxx
  12. happy friday!
  13. Would love to reciprocate your lovely heartfelt wishes, but quite frankly. I'm a little bit pissed. So you can feck off and shove it up your hoop while you're at it. :D Yeah yeah, happy fecking Christmas. I love it.
  14. Ho ho fucking ho.

    I think I'm getting a divorce for Christmas.
  15. Looks like someone is getting a decent pressy then :twisted: